Airborne Observations - Journey's In The Sky

NEW BLOG ADDRESS–MORE FEATURES

Shane Watts — Sat, 12 Feb 2011 13:38:00 GMT

Hey Ya’ll, Recently I decided that I wanted to add more functionality to my blog so I built a new page in blogger that has more functionality. The address is here: http://airborneagain.blogspot.com if you’d like to have a look.

I’m not closing this blog down yet, as I want to have time to convert all my older entries over to the new site. Take a look and hope you enjoy it. The main page will also become the new home page for www.otisair.com so you may find that useful as well.

Ya’ll be particular!

~ Airborne in a Lawn Chair, My First Ten Flights ~

Shane Watts — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 01:22:00 GMT

For quite a while now I’ve been wanting to learn how to Paraglide. Paragliding is a form of aviation in which you take a king size bed sheet and tie a bunch of shoe laces together to each sheet corner and secure the other end to a pair of suspenders that you can buy on eBay. You then spread out the bed sheet behind you and run off a mountain top hoping that the sheet opens up and allows you to glide around a bit before you realize you still have to land and begin your descent towards car traffic below and end up crashing into a tree.

In my case, I couldn’t decide if I wanted to jump off mountains and “free” fly, or use a window fan duct taped to my back to allow me to launch from the ground instead of using gravity to act as my initial launch platform. After doing lots of research on Facebook, I decided to go with the window fan method because I didn’t want to have to drive to a mountain every time I wanted to fly. I figured this would get me in the air more often and allow me to present you with more frequent spectacular crash videos.

Morgantown Air Force Base - Click Map To Stalk Us.

After spending a week in “ground school” where I learned everything about everything, I met the instructor, Kevin, out at the crash site in Morgantown. I hadn’t crashed yet of course, but give it 20 minutes and I’ll have crossed that bridge.

Kevin had had me “kiting” the wing for hours on end which is running around on the ground while pulling the wing above me. I spent all morning running all over Morgantown and he expected me to be happy about it. I ran about 400 miles that first day and was as soaking wet as a mountain mule. The others that were with me didn’t seem to mind as much – those lil narrowed arshed younger pups all probably in their 20’s or something. Hell, I was ready for a beer just after finally getting tied in to my kiting harness. Now that’s a contraption. You take this tiny little girdle thing that is about 3 sizes too small and it has these narrow bands that you stick your legs through and they pull up tight around your bidness and make your butt knot up and all. It really ain’t comfortable wearing one of these things. Then, you attach a wing to it so when the wind blows through and tries to lift you up, your parts get pulled up over your head and get all numb and such. I spent the next 30 minutes gigglin’ cuz my pointer had pins and needles and every time I moved it shocked me. After Kevin couldn’t stand watching us run all up and down the country side anymore, he called to me and said to get ready to fly. I could feel my heart begin to beat faster and bowels begin to aerobicize a little. I was gonna do this today and I didn’t think I could get out of it. I suited up with every thing I could think of to bring along with me and stood ready to fly.

The plan was to run S T R A I G H T towards Kevin, squeeze the throttle, keep the wing centered overhead, continue running straight into the wind, and pull a little on the brakes when I felt like I was being lifted off the ground. Ok. I can do that. I’d be airborne before I reached him and would safely fly over him and then I’d expertly fly the pattern and return for a feather lite touchdown and we’d all celebrate.

I was wearing a headset that was plugged in to a radio so Kevin could give me instruction as the flight progressed. After I let the engine warm up for a little bit, Kevin gave me the green light to launch. Now it was time to shine. I took off running and could immediately feel the drag from the wing as it lifted above me. I could see [kill it] Kevin down at the far end of the field even though I was beginning [Kill It] to arc towards the right. I could still see him and didn’t understand why [KILL IT] he was running towards me. I kept watching him and kept running faster and [KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT] and was waiting for the feeling of lift to come to me. That’s when I realized that I was about to crash right smack into the parked cars. I never heard Kevin yelling at me on the radio to kill the motor and I just kept running, kept arcing to the right, and kept getting closer to the vehicles. I didn’t event have time to process what to do next, so I kept running fast, kept squeezing the throttle, and finally felt lift. I went between two parked vehicles with less than 6 inches of clearance (we later measured it) on either side. I may have missed Kevin by 120 yards but I sho’ nuff nearly took out his van. Oh, and me too. I spent the next 5 minutes dropping airborne turdlettes on downwind.
Click on any photo in this blog for an enlarged view. Although I hate to admit it, I totally “froze” and not only did I not register what was being hollered to me, but I wasn’t even paying attention to where I was running. I had long since made my mind up that I WAS going to get airborne and I WAS going to fly this thing. I got really lucky that I missed those cars and I know it would have left a mark. Not only that, it sure would have caused a lot of work for a lot of people to get me and the PPG gear out from inside of the van after having flown into it via the hole I would have made. “Entering” the van with the prop spinning at full throttle would have been about the same as sitting in a running dryer with a chain saw fired up. Not purty!

My entire first flight lasted about 4 minutes. After landing, Kevin could have yelled at me but couldn’t talk yet. He was so happy that 1. I wasn’t inside his van, 2. I was Ok, 3. His PPG gear was Ok, 4. His van was Ok, and 5. I was on the ground.

No sense in crying over near catastrophic events, so after a bit of “how not to arc” retraining, I set up for flight number two.

This time, I did stay on course and didn’t come close to the cars. Well, Kevin made us move them all to a different field so the only way I’d come close was if I went on a search and destroy mission. I didn’t and I wasn’t. The flight plan was for me to get airborne, fly a small rectangular pattern and come back in for a landing. The first flight I didn’t remember even getting airborne so this second flight would be like the first flight had never happened. I launched on the first try and held that throttle down for all it was worth. I could hear and register what Kevin was saying about a minute after each of his transmissions. He’d tell me to begin turning back and I’d fly another mile out. I finally did turn around and start heading back in.

I was more aware of what was happening on this flight and actually had time to even look around. Nuclear John, who was a student in an earlier class was doing all the videoing and picture taking for me. He made landing look so easy so I thought I’d follow his lead and softly touch down on this flight and we’d call it a day. Instead, I came in at about 120 mph (or so it felt) and ended up landing (sliding about 20 yards) on my behind again. This landing on my feet like the others were doing was my next big goal. That, and steering it of course. I had survived my first two powered paragliding flights and I had met a dream that I’d had from way back in my youth. Nice!

I came back the next morning to give this thing another go. I’d spent most of the night before rereading from the Powered Paragliding Bible and was ready for flight number three. I had no idea that in 10 minutes time, I would have a skid mark on the side of my head and dirt up both nostrils and in my britches. I’d had an uneventful departure, except for the fact that I had to run nearly 1300 yards to get airborne in the calm wind. Preferably, its nice to have a 4-8 mph breeze to make launching less difficult. I’d have said easier but right now just getting all the gear on without falling over is difficult.

I flew around the pattern for a little bit and could smell the morning and the fields below. Come to think of it, the fields smelled like what I did during my first flight yesterday. It must be that time of the year again to get some of the fertilizer down and keep those fields growing. Soon I was on final and Kevin radioed me to remind me to cut the engine. As I progressed, I wouldn’t continue to kill the engine before landing but for now with my affection for parked cars and crash landings, it was best that all moving parts that could be stopped prior to splash down were shut down to avoid dismantling.

I killed the engine and began an immediate arc to the right. I still had plenty of left brake available but I entered my take off and landing mode in which nothing processed, nothing registered, and I was pretty much along for the ride at this point. Kevin radioed to steer left and I watched him fade to the left as my steer continued to the right and the field just south of where I was supposed to land. If only had I listened, I wouldn’t have the green mark on the side of my head. Only 10 feet on the wrong side of the border between landing field and bean field. I pulled my legs up in fear that they would be tangled in the vines allowing my knees to hit first which lunged my face forward to strike the beans hard and soften the blow for the rest of me and my ppg that were in close proximity. We all ended up in the same hole that my face had plowed. Kevin radioed to ask if I was alright and I was afraid that if I said anything but Yes, he’d not let me fly anymore for the rest of the day. It took about 3 minutes to get the wind back inside me and get back on my feet. When the others started calling me “Sprout” I knew that I had resurfaced with battle wounds from the bean field. I’d get the last laugh though because since then, they’ve all crash there too. HAH!

It’ll take about 3 days for bean burns to wear off the side of your face, just in case you ever find yourself having bean skidmarks. I decided to wait until that afternoon before going up again. I was still looking for my spleen and trying to work all my innards back to where they belonged after that last crash landing. We broke for lunch and all went up to the Morgantown Sonic and I had Onion Rings made from Vidalia onions and a burger that that was made from a French-fried chicken. Oh, and in case you were wondering, they do serve 44 oz. cherry lime-aids. hmm hmmm.

Flight Four was really cool I think. I forgot to charge the battery but if I remember correctly, I did some aerobatics, a couple of touch and goes, some advance wing walker maneuvers, and I think I landed softly on one foot with a no errors. Not!

Flight Five came a few days later and with it some counseling from Kevin. I was feeling kind of good about my new found PPG’ing skills and now that I had a few flights under my belt, I figured I was able to go here and there with ease. Actually, I almost hit power lines, a silo, and the ground – all in five minutes. I’m good huh?

Flight Five began and ended quite well; everything in the middle was a bit of a stool squirter. I launched to the East this time, into the wind and immediately began the “Watts Arc” to the right and headed for the nearest high-tension power lines situated about 150 yards away. I was a bit closer aligned with the power curve this time, but still getting used to hanging out there in a lawn chair whilst banking to the left and right. I missed the power lines only to be faced with a big ol’ silo laying straight ahead with impact less than one minute away. It was time to pull the brakes, either the left or right – but I better make my mind up quickly as I only have about 45 seconds. I can hear Kevin on the radio the whole time reminding me to look ahead (in addition to left and right). I successfully maneuvered around the silo and turned to the downwind leg of flight number five.

Kevin asked me about 12 times if I’d successfully gotten seated in my chair, I finally acknowledged after dodging the power lines and a building. It seemed to me that I spent 4 minutes getting seated only to be told that it was time to get back out of the seat so I could prepare for landing. I was still damaged goods after the bean event two flights earlier so I decided I’d delay my landing prep for a second and take advantage of the glide down and rest up. It was a beautiful day and the morning temps of August weren’t actually all the bad. I was determined to land on my feet this time (and stay on them); all I had to do was everything I’d learned over the week before. Uhm, chances are I was about to crash again, I had 4 flights, 4 crashes, and video to prove three of them.

I slid back out of my seat and did a descent check to guess which field I would land in. It looked as though I’d land in the same field I took off from so things were feeling pretty good. I stretched my legs out and got ready to pull the brakes all the way as soon as I thought I was about to plow into the field. If I did it right, I’d not even make a dent in me, the gear, or the ground. I thought it was about time just as Kevin hollered for the 3rd time to flare and pull I did. I landed on my feet and was tickled to pieces. I turned around quickly to lower the wing in front of me so the running motor and spinning prop wouldn’t eat my wing. That’s when I realized that I forgot to turn the motor off. I sheepishly press the kill switch and wondered if Kevin had noticed. Certainly he didn’t hear the engine running right beside him, feel the air blowing past him, or see the prop spinning around him, certainly. That’s when he started counseling me. For the next 2 minutes I relearned what I should have learned a week ago and then learned it again. Boston John was with me videoing my first stand up landing.

Flight Six occurred that same morning immediately following show (flight) Five. I still hadn’t unstuck my face from grinning from ear-to-ear. I had landed and stayed on my feet and I wanted everyone to know it. I told folks I didn’t even know including the young Amish kids that came riding by on a midget horse that was about as tall as Ella, my lil French Bulldog.

Kevin had me do a “fast-taxi” and told me to wait until he gave me the go ahead to launch into the sky. This was to improve my ground handling ability (boy you should have seen my lack there of) of the wing and make my departure runs more successful. Instead of running straight into the wind, I took the scenic route and went up the hill, down the hill, and back up the hill. Put a silent-movie piano tune to it and I would have been the star. I did keep the wing kinda sorta above me and the second Kevin said go, I squeezed full throttle and ran into the air. This time I stayed away from all immoveable objects and really had a nice flight. When it came time to land, Kevin said it would be up to me this time to determine when to flare. I began flaring about 200 feet and then unflared, reflared, sudo-flared, kinda flared, and then ended up landing not even in a flare (as observed in the picture to the right). I did stay on my feet though and now had two in a row for successfully landing on my feet and in the same field that I had launched from. I was really loving this PPG thing and couldn’t wait to go again.

I had to wait a whole week to get back out and fly again. I wondered if I’d forgotten everything I’d ever learned about PPG flying but figured I’d remember it in time to avoid hitting something stationary or not moving faster than me. A couple of things changed for me on this flight and added to the complexity of things in my novice PPG world. First, I would be flying a different paramotor and second, I had a new camera that my buddy let me use. I had it attached to my helmet and even remembered to turn it on.

Flight number seven started off by nearly running down my buddy Carl whom had volunteered to video my departure. As soon as he realized I was about to run him over, he said screw the videography work and took off running for cover. Luckily the wind steered my departure run (I’d be telling a story if I said I had good taxi skills at this point) to the left and I missed him by at least fourteen inches. I got airborne and immediately began the “Watts Arc” to the right. The 2nd picture shows where I’d soon be landing; although I didn’t yet realize it; It only took about a minute to get there. Picture three shows the scenery that I was enjoying about 1/2 second before the motor quit. By the way, It just quit! it didn’t say why, or offer any explanations. It just quit. When it happened, there were too many things going through my mind to remember that this is how I had landed (engine off) the first 5 flights I had made. The only difference here was I had commanded the engine shutdown on those previous five flights, and secondly – in earlier flights, I was kinda knowing which field I was going to land in. When the engine quit, I immediately turned into the direction I thought the wind was coming from; the same direction I had departed a minute before. I took a quick look back at where I came from but knew I didn’t have the altitude to make it back. I picked out a house into the wind and dropped in for an unannounced visit. I had planned on landing in their back yard but as I got closer to the target area, I realized there were clotheslines in the back yard so I pulled hard to the left and landed in the field just below the back yard. I landed fairly softly and was kind of proud of myself for not peeing between engine out and touch down, or crashing into the house or landing on their back porch or through their window. I gathered my wing up and walked to the road for a ride back to the launch zone. My friend Jeff came to pick me and my gear up in his pick’em truck. It turned out loose head bolts allowed the pressure to leak through the head gasket and the engine decided to shut down leaving me and my behind hanging out about 300 feet above the ground with no where to go but down. I learned much today.

On my eighth flight, I forgot to turn on my new camera so everything I’m about to say could be made up. I took off into the morning sun and ended up pairing up with a herd of geese flying south and…. actually, we did some trouble shooting on the paramotor that I had just had the engine out on and I took off again. We hadn’t yet realized it was loose head bolts and thought it was an electrical issue. The engine quit again and I landed much closer this time, able to walk back to the field. This time, however, we did figure out what the issue was and my next flight would be without shutdown.

Flight Nine was the first flight that I didn’t take off and immediately land. It was a short flight but I didn’t just fly a rectangular pattern and land. As I was turning on to final, the field was full of wings spread out so I continued to fly around a little bit longer before returning. I was grinning the whole time and know that anyone looking from down below could see my tooth shining in the sun light. I’m hoping there are wings all over the place next time too so Kevin can’t holler at me for loitering in the sky. haha. Look at the hillbilly flying around in a lawn chair. Look Mama, no hands. Settle down.

Flight Ten was definitely flown with a bit more confidence. I flew around the pattern a couple of times and when it was time to land (Kevin gave me a 2 pattern curfew), I decided to come in high above the field and turn the engine off and work out the landing point using turns and descents. I saw the many wings laid out like they were before and decided that I’d be landing long and would avoid anyone that was getting ready to launch. Most everyone out there already knew that I was up there and also knew that I had nearly hit everything within reach so they were all so nice and gave me lots of room to work out my final approach to landing. I landed halfway down the field and was able to stay on my feet. Boy do I love this form of flying. Attached below are the youtube video’s of my flights. Flight number four and eight didn’t have video taken with it due to my own err, but I do hope you will enjoy having a look at the others. I can’ wait to get out and do some more flying so please stop by often as I’ll be adding more very soon. Thanks!

Here are video’s of flights One through Ten. Flight numbers 4 and8 were not successfully recorded. Hope you enjoy them.

Flight Number One	Flight Number Six
Flight Number Two	Flight Number Seven [HD Available]
Flight Number Three	Flight Number Nine [HD Available]
Flight Number Five	Flight Number Ten [HD Available]

Up Up and Away In My Beautiful Balloon

Shane Watts — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 15:26:00 GMT

I was invited to go along on a hot air balloon ride with my buddy Rich Lanning. Rich pilots balloons, gliders, and airplanes - pretty cool huh? I was very impressed when he proposed a landing area about 5 miles ahead of us and 2500 feet below us. I figured the wind would take us "where ever", but sure enough he landed ...exactly where he pointed out from high above.

Great Job Rich!

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons license.

The Frog Princess

Shane Watts — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 20:40:00 GMT

Today we met a wonderful Family. Today we met a Princess. Today we adopted a Frog.

Earlier this month, Beth and I began our search for a lil French Bulldog that wanted us as it's Mamma & Daddy. Beth had recently began volunteering for Cloud Nine Rescue Flights, which is a non-profit organization that fly’s down to kill shelters in the South, rescues the dogs, and fly’s them back up to non-kill shelters in the North. We're flying buddies with the founder and Chief Pilot and asked him for some assistance in finding a Frenchie that was looking for us too.

Ted reached out to his contacts and within a day we had good leads. We started our search on two websites: The French Bulldog Rescue Network and the French Bulldog Village. Both sites have lovely dogs that deserve a forever family and I just know they'd bring so many smiles to you and your family's faces. We spent hours and hours reading bio's of these precious "Frogs" (as we learned they are sometimes called). I'd walk in Beth's office to find a tear in her eyes after reading a tragic recount of a precious Bully's past life. I wish we were in a position to rescue them all.

About 12 hours into the search, we came upon a pretty little girl named Miss Eloise who was living in the Maryland/DC Metro area. We both fell in love with her at first glance. We read her bio, reread her bio, and then read it again. I downloaded all of her pictures that were available on the site and began showing her off to everyone I knew and even some I didn't (if I had their email address in our computer). She was perfect! I filled out the online application, crossed my fingers, and pressed submit. Beth and I sat together on the couch and reread her bio, looked at her pictures, and "saw" her playing happily there in the living room with us. Soon it was time for bed and off we went. "Good Night Little One, We're Coming Baby Girl".

The next afternoon, after we both finished work, Beth had gone downstairs to do one of those crazy P90X videos where she was kicking her legs up, punching the air, doing 600 pushups, and runnin' round with a Kettle-ball; I was havin' a glass of wine and watching the news. My phone rang and the number wasn't familiar to me but I answered with a hello and heard the most beautiful words, "Shane, my name is Stacy and I'm calling about Miss Eloise". My eyes teared up for joy and I lost my breath; I really did. I tried to speak and ran downstairs to where Beth was and found her in some sort of Lotus position with her left toe in her right ear or something. She knew something was up and whatever it was, it was good. Stacy and I talked for 20-30 minutes and I was grinning the whole time. I'm sure the neighbors thought I had stuck a clothes hanger in my mouth with such a wide grin that I had on. The more Stacy told us about Miss Eloise, the more we fell in love with her. Mind you that this was just an interview, but to Beth and I it was a sign that Miss Eloise was one step closer to coming home.

We ended our conversation and Beth and I fought each other to be first getting to the computer to look at this little baby girl again and blow kisses to her. Beth won cuz she took her lotus foot and stuck it in my eye so I couldn't see which way to run. Stacy had asked if I had any questions, but during the phone call I couldn't even remember my own name I was so excited! Does she wear clothes, does she like treats, does she sleep in the bed, does she does she.... yes I had questions, tons of them once I regained a little sense. "Do you think she'll like us", Beth and I asked each other almost in unison. Sure she will, we'll make good parents to this little princess and she'll be very happy.

Beth and I have each had dogs all our lives, but this would be the first one we'd have together. Beth has had Labs, a ShitsYou, and Isabelle - her daughter Nicole’s' Corgi. I have had English Bulldogs, a German Shepherd, a Boston Terrier, and 2 Chow-Chow's. We would make good parents and our Frog Princess would be spoiled. Beth and I later discovered that we'd each been on the internet finding clothes and toys for her even though we didn't know her sizes and likes and dislikes. We have them as spares, yeah that's it. By bedtime, we'd ordered Miss Eloise a trench coat, a cheerleading outfit, a polo shirt, stairs (to get in bed), nylabones, leashes, harnesses, a blanket, and a Sunday School dress. Had we lost it?

Four months went by, ok ok, 3 days (but it felt like four months) went by and one evening we were sitting down watching My Name Is Earl and my phone rang. Another unknown number!?!?!?! I answered the phone and this young lady said, "Hi Shane? My name is Christie and I work with the French Bulldog Rescue Network and I'd like to find out when I can stop by for a home visit for Miss Eloise?" This meant that we'd made it further along in the selection process and I nearly shat a Polynesian Water Fowl! "Uhm, TONIGHT!!!!!!". She just giggled and suggested a few dates and times as to not conflict with work. I was ready to take a month’s vacation if needbe . Beth knew something was up by the fact that I was doing the "cabbage patch kid" dance in the living room and hoping that it couldn't be heard on the phone by Ms Christie. After nearly hyperventilating from excitement, we hung up and Beth and I wind sprinted back to the computer to reread Miss Eloise's bio and look and her pictures and send out a brand new batch of emails to all our friends and buddies on what had just happened. We went online and bought some more clothes for her too!

"Honey, should we have the house painted, buy new furniture, plant some trees, put up new blinds, resod the yard?" Beth had to remind me that our home is new, our furniture is new, we just finished painting the interior, we have a lovely garden and it really is kept very clean. I had to chuckle when she brought me back to reality; perhaps I was just a little nervous. "Uhm, what about Moses?"

During the Christmas Season, the "Trailer Park" (what we call us and all of our wonderful neighbors as a group) had a Chinese Pollyanna, and we each individually had to get a gift (up to $20.00) and put it in a pile. We'd then each draw a number and pick a present, open it, and wait for the next person to either "steel" it, or pick a new present from the pile. We all had to laugh because when it was all said and done, we ended up with 5 Snuggies and a Fish, as well as a few other gifts. I somehow got the pet fish and we collectively named it Moses. I'd forgotten about "Moses" when I filled the application out and now I was wondering if I would be disqualified for failing to declare the existence of Moses, our pet Beta fish. I would hide him in the woods when Ms Christie came! SLAP! Beth must have heard me thinking out loud and made me go apologize to Moses and then bathe him and then wash his bowl.

When the day arrived for Ms Christie to come out, she called and asked if she could bring along a Foster Frenchie of hers named Hero. We said “absolutely” and for the next 30 minutes, we peeked out of the blinds waiting for them to pull up. When they arrived I nearly dove off the top stair rushing to the door. Hero, Christie, and Josh (Christie’s Hubby) came up the walkway and Beth and I were just beaming with excitement. Hero was too, as he peed on everything from the time he got out of the car till he got to my foot. Bless his little heart, we learned that he had been paralyzed and didn't even realize he was tinklin'. I didn't mind and wiped my foot on the back of Beth's pant leg when she wasn't looking. SLAP! Hero got a diaper put on him and inside we went. You'd never know that he (Hero) had any issues whatsoever as he ran all over the place just as happy as he could be. We were told that Hero himself isn't even aware that he has any disabilities either, which is a good thing. We walked around the house and chatted back and forth with Christie and Josh. Beth, the sane one, answered the majority of the questions while Hero and I played in the living room with a tennis ball. Since Christie and Josh were Foster parents, I asked them if they were aware of the "Bark-Park" just down the road in the event they wanted to bring their Frenchies there. They hadn't heard about it so after we finished with the home visit, we all rode down to the Bark-Park and hung out for a bit. Hero hollered “Wazzzzzup” at some of the other dogs that were playing and they traded hello's and perhaps a few expletives too. Christie, Josh, and Hero loaded up and headed home; Beth and I rushed back home, ran to the computer to reread Miss Eloise's bio, look at her pictures, email our friends, and buy her some more toys online.

More months went by, SLAP!, I mean a few days went by and I couldn't stand it so I called Stacy back to see if she had any more interviews to conduct or if she'd heard anything else. I guess she hadn't started receiving the unmarked $5.00 bills that I'd started sending to her and her Fiancé' to "assist" in making the choice as to who would be selected to become Miss Eloise's forever Mommy and Daddy, because she never mentioned it, nor the roses, concert tickets, plane rides, chocolates, dinner cards, etc. You know I'm kiddin. Maybe.

The decision hadn't been made yet and Stacy would be in touch when one was reached. In the meantime, Stacy sent us some more pictures of the little Princess and said she was doing well and excited to soon be going to a forever home. With no definitive word on if we'd been selected or not, I walked around the house pouting and decided to quit eating and bathing. I was going to go on a one of them campaign's like when the sportscaster sits on top of a billboard and eats cheesettes for weeks until their team wins a playoff game or something. Mine would be a little less dramatic though and I just stayed inside until I had to go to work. Beth made me bathe and eat and then bathe Moses again and clean out his bowl. I still wasn't gonna eat Cheesettes though.

The next Monday I was at work and had just finished conducting an energy management simulation on some of our operators when my phone rang showing "Miss Eloise's Mama" was calling. I walked out into the hallway and nervously answered the phone with a "Hello Stacy". "Shane, I just wanted to call you and give you some great news". I must have gotten something in both my eyes, cuz' they were both shedding tears so much I couldn't see. I can't remember if I could even talk. Stacy gave me the news although I'm not absolutely sure what she said as I was on Cloud 9. She asked for suggestions on when we could meet and I offered to leave work right then to drive down to Maryland - although I knew that was unrealistic because everyone had to still work. Stacy offered to meet in New Jersey at her Mom's house the following weekend since they would be up visiting. Actually, I think both Stacy and her Fiancé' Ian (also a pilot, nice!) had been traveling for business and Stacy's Mom was caring for Miss Eloise. The date was set and now all I had to do was keep myself occupied until that day came. So we went online and reread Miss Eloise's bio, looked at her pictures, sent out more emails (many more), and bought her a raincoat.

Meeting Day!

“It's Time to go Shugah”. Beth opened her precious little eyes, looked at the 1:45 a.m. showing on the alarm clock and told me I was nuts, then promptly went back to sleep. I hadn't slept a wink and knew I wouldn't be able too. I went downstairs and put on some coffee, washed Moses and cleaned his bowl. I rewashed Miss Eloise's bowls and put new bottled water in her water bowl. I showered, reread Miss Eloise's bio, looked at her pictures, sent out some emails, checked the online map, programmed the GPS, then programmed another GPS, then decided to watch TV until it was time to leave. There is nothing on except infomercials at 2:15 in the morning. I drank my coffee then decided it was time to accidently wake up Beth so I stood just outside our bedroom door and started fake coughing. Nothing. Fake sneezing. nope. So I vacuumed the bedroom and then underneath our bed. SLAP! Uhm, Beth's wide awake now! SLAP! SLAPPEDY-SLAP!

It's 4:00 a.m. now and we're both watching the clock and the infomercials and drinking coffee. "Do you think she'll like us" again we asked? We knew we'd show her all the love she could handle and that child would never want for anything. "What if we leave now and just drive slow"? Beth knew that she had to remain the voice of reason, but I was already in the car with it running before she unrolled her eyes to see that I'd left the room. We had prepared the back of the car with blankets and pillows and toys and clothes and food and water. We stopped by the Wawa just up the road and bought another coffee and a breakfast hoagie. Both were good and we headed East. Our agreed on meeting time was 8:30 am, but the GPS indicated that we'd be in their driveway by 5:30 am. I do hope there is a Duncan Donuts somewhere we can wait? I slowed down took the scenic view right through the middle of Philly. Perhaps I exaggerated our times a little, but at 7:45 a.m. we found ourselves parking in the Duncan Donuts parking lot just a couple of miles away from Miss Eloise, and her Mom, Dad, and Granny. We were both so excited!

When it was time, we drove the last 2 miles and as the GPS lady was hollering that "You Have Arrived At Your Destination", we saw the most precious site. Miss Eloise was being walked out front and her little under-bitten perfect face looked up and I swear I read her lips as she said "DADDY!". I nearly strangled myself trying to get out of the car before unlatching the seatbelt. Beth wouldn't let me leave the car in the middle of the street so I had to park it and then I was allowed to get out. We both approached Miss Eloise with big grins and opened arms. She was absolutely gorgeous. Nothing about this child I would ever change. We were in love. Realizing that I'd been rude and not introduced ourselves, Beth and I exchanged hello's with Stacy and Ian, then we all headed back in to Stacy's Mama's beautiful home. We met Stacy's Mom Cindy, whom is also a wonderful lady, and we all sat as Beth and I got to know Miss Eloise. They laughed as they told tales of this precious little angel and relayed how much joy she'd brought to them. I honestly felt sad because I knew they would be after Beth and I left with Miss Eloise. We learned that they had started calling her Ella and she'd responded well so that's what we call her now too. I think we stayed for over an hour getting to know Ella and her Foster Family, and then got to the business end of the adoption. Beth and I are really impressed with the great amount of care that goes in to fostering and rescuing Frenchies. This is no backyard operation. They are professional caring and loving people that run and participate in the French Bulldog Rescue Network and I'm very happy that they are this way. We finished up the business side and then Beth and I went into the living room so Ella and her Foster Family could all say "until we meet again". It was really sad for all of us and Beth and I quickly wiped our eyes before we were caught crying on the carpet. Stacy's Mom brought out a big bag full of goodies for Ella and it was just so precious. These are really really good people. Not only did Stacy and Ian foster Ella, but they also rescued another French Bulldog a few years ago for themselves. JoJo is a beautiful little pudgy Frenchie that is precious as well. While Ella went for a walk with her Granny (Stacy's Mama), JoJo came out and gave Beth and I some kisses and thanked us for taking Ella so she could have her whole house back. haha On another note, Ella’s Auntie Melanie wrote us a special letter describing the incredible Princess that we were adopting. Beth and I thought it was very touching what she had written and promise to keep everyone updated with Ella’s adventures.

After hugs and tears and goodbye's, Ella, Beth and I loaded up the car and headed back home. Ella sat in Beth's lap and never moved the entire way home. She looked out the window and watched me each time I shifted gears. We felt a little sad for her because we knew that she was probably very curious as to what was going on and where her Mommy, Granny, Daddy, and Grandpa were. We promised that we'd send pictures, video's, and even phone calls.

About 30 minutes from reaching home, the "Trailer Park" started calling Beth and I asking where we were and when we'd be home. I guess all the pictures We'd taken and sent from my Blackberry told 'em we would soon be there. We pulled up and everyone was there to meet Ella. Ella has a fan club called FOME, for Friends Of Miss Eloise. The Trailer Park loved her and each wanted to hold this little princess.

View Full Album

We took her for a walk around to stretch her legs and potty after the long trip home. After a few more minutes and more huggin' and kissin', we introduced Ella to her forever home. She walked around cautiously at first, smelling every nook and cranny, and then as she got more comfortable, ran from floor to floor, room to room looking all around. We made sure she knew where her bowls were and offered her food and water but she was too busy exploring. We wanted her to know it was her house so we didn't get in the way. Every now and again, we'd see her fly by and she was enroute to another corner, another sniff, another adventure. She must have done this for an hour or more before she trotted back into the living room and looked out of the window at the passers by. The grandfather clocked chimed and she tilted her head as she looked at it wondering what it was.

We wanted to let her decide when she wanted to come to us and play and cuddle and stuff so we patiently waited. I was going nuts inside because I wanted to hold her and cuddle her and give her kisses. Beth did too of course, but she is much better at acting sane than I am. Finally it happened, Ella walked over to the sofa and jumped up on it and sat beside Beth. She looked around for a sec and then laid down. She was home.

Later in the afternoon we took Ella down to the Perkiomen Trail, which is a paved path that sits along the shoreline of the Perkiomen Creek. We took the camera with us and also the GPS because I'd seen some geocaches in the immediate area that we'd be walking. We strolled along the walkway and then the GPS pointed down a little unpaved pathway that led into the woods. Ella was ready, Beth was ready, I was ready and away we went. Beth was navigating, Ella was sniffalating, and I was as proud as can be of my two princesses beside me. Beth and Ella were following the needle on the GPS and soon discovered the hidden treasure that we had been looking for. Ella's first geocache (as far as we know). Coincidentally, the geocache name was Dog Leg Canal. We walked for another mile and then headed home after a long day.

We cleaned her feet up from running in the dirt and then took her shopping for some more goodies at the Petsmart. We got her a new Bling Bling name tag, 2 more sweaters, another set of stairs, some extra treats, and a couple more nylabones. We didn't stay long because the entire Trailer Park wanted to come over to meet/greet Ella in the evening. We have great neighbors! Later, everyone started coming over and Ella was the life of the party. With each new introduction, Ella got more toys and clothes and goodies and now has more assets than Beth and I combined!

I'm guessing the get-together lasted until around 10pm and then it was time for bed. Beth and I knew we'd offer the bed to her but weren't sure if she'd be comfortable or not so soon. No word of a lie, Ella ran up the stairs, went to the top of the bed, pulled the covers back, climbed underneath them, popped her little head back out and laid it on the pillow. We just stood there with our mouth's wide opened. She is amazing! We thought that was the funniest thing ever. I took a picture of her on my Blackberry of her laying down. Honest Abe, she did it just as I described and was unassisted in every way. She didn't move the whole night and slept right between us.

I can't wait to see what the next days will have in store for us. We'll take plenty of pictures and video's and keep the blog updated with new events. We'll be taking her flying soon and will post a blog entry for that one too.

Ya’ll Be Particular and Rescue A Precious Pup soon! Shane & Beth

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons license.

Oshkosh 2009 – Under the Rainbow

Shane Watts — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 23:55:00 GMT

Detroit, with the 398 nautical miles and Lake Erie between us, seemed so far away. This would be our fuel stop between Wings Field outside of Philadelphia, and Oshkosh Wisconsin. I’d flight planned longer distances before but always ended up settling for a closer fuel stop. I figured the Viking Witch could make it but knew I couldn’t without a nature break. Usually I have to go just after takeoff and upon entering the clouds and IMC (instrument meteorological conditions) as my luck always works this way. I did, however, elect to go to Detroit this time because I found an empty tequila mixer bottle that I could bring along to tinkle in just after departure. I wasn’t sure what Beth was gonna do; but I hoped she brought a bottle for her too cuz she wasn’t gettin’ mine! SLAP! “Pee in your own cup woman!” SULLLLAP!

Following my normal preparedness techniques, I began packing at 4:00 am on Saturday, July 25, 2009, which was 2 hours and forty minutes before we were to get airborne. I had filed for an 0640 departure and between now and then I had to find the tent, the tent stakes, my clothes, the cooler for the Yuengling’s I’d bought, and my brand new Flight Cheetah FL190 weather receiving GPS tablet computer. Beth had followed her preparedness technique as well and went shopping everyday beginning two weeks prior and bought everything, in every store, from here to New York City and back. She bought clothes for all four seasons using a week’s stay at Oshkosh as an excuse for all the things she’d bought. She’s crazy SLAP!, but very beautifully dressed. Honey, have you seen my credit card? When we walked out to pack the car to go to the airport, we discovered that our neighbors car had been wrapped up with all the other neighbors newspapers. We had to laugh as we watched folks coming out looking for their newspapers. I’m telling you what, if you want an exciting life, come move in the whacky neighborhood we live in! It’s entirely a fun time, all the time! At least it wasn’t one of ours this time. Our block is affectionately called the Trailer Park.

We left the house at 6:15 a.m. flying down the road like a crazy woman headed to a all-you-can-wiggle-pedicure sale. I gave the weather fella’s a call and they confirmed what the weather channel had already told me; rain, wind, fog. I’m sure I’d have to pee. I had my departure time pushed back an hour just in case and it turned out to be just about right; we got airborne at 7:37!
We tried to be more realistic this year and not bring everything we owned so instead of packing 1800 pounds of baggage we backed off to 1500 pounds and decided to buy the rest once we got there.
It only took us 30 minutes this time to pack up, but a lot more duct tape was used. Oh, this year we decided to take lawn chairs (the kind that lay out long) but never even took them out of the plane. SonuvabitSLAP! We did manage, however, to take every one of her shoes! SLAP!
I gave Philadelphia a call on the frequency and they gave us our clearance to Detroit. It was starting to become believable that we were going to Oshkosh EAA Air Venture 2009!
I was grinning from ear to ear!

Our route took us over Reading, Williamsport, and Erie Pennsylvania, Canada, and finally in to Detroit Michigan.

T + Twenty Minutes after departure,
my bottle was full!

Armed with our brand new NexRad weather receiving GPS, off we went towards our first stop of Detroit. Although we overflew parts of Canada, we never saw it because we were right smack dab in the middle of the clouds. The ride remained very smooth and Beth was able to enjoy her Duncan Donuts coffee and muffin without interruption; I was able to get one (1) donut hole and a spoonful of coffee before departing because I knew I’d have to go; and did. Soon, I had to ask Beth to take control of the airplane because I needed to aim into an empty tequila bottle and hope to not fill it. We were in the clouds and on instruments and I quickly gave Beth the crash course (no pun intended) on instrument flying before giving her the controls so I could aim. I could sense the airplane entering a right roll and now I’m aiming with one hand, holding the bottle with the other, throttling back with my right foot and rolling back to the left with my left foot while still watching my aim cuz it wasn’t about to “stop” on command. Wings level, still peein’, and back on course – I finally finished and all was good. I really need to send her to the Pinch Hitters course! Just after leaving the shoreline at Erie, the GPS lost it’s mind and decided to shut itself off – along with the “weather awareness” it had been providing! I was looking forward to evaluating the approach features of the new GPS but didn’t have time to reboot the thing and troubleshoot what had gone wrong before being cleared for the ILS 33 approach in to Detroit. We broke out of the clouds about 500 feet and the runway was right where I’d planned on it being – in front of us! YAY. Four hours and 6 minutes after takeoff and we were on the ground and I had just completed my longest leg ever in the Viking Witch, N8388W.
There are two fuel facilities at Detroit. One is owned by the city and is a self-service pump that sells aviation 100LL fuel and the other is an FBO (Fixed Based Operator) named Signature that has fuel trucks that will come and fill up your tanks for you. The self service pumps have no on-field employees there to assist you. Signature has several very nice employee’s and one wicked witch of Detroit Michigan. Ho! SLAP! Ho! SLAP! After landing we taxied over to the self-service fuel because the price of the fuel was half that of which Signature was selling theirs for. We filled up and instead of getting our flight plan clearance for the flight from Detroit to Oshkosh, we decided to taxi over to the Signature parking area so Beth could use the ladies room; I had already gone in the weeds so I was good. After parking, a Signature fuel dude drove up to see if we needed anything. I told him we just wanted to run in to use the restroom and he smiled, pointed the way, and bid us a safe journey to Oshkosh. All was good. As soon as we walked in to the terminal, the Ho! SLAP! Ho! SLAP! lady yelled that I “owed” her $28.50 for services. “What services”, I asked. She demanded, “Well Who Parked You!!!!?” I did, I replied. “Well, Who Filled Your Gas Tanks!!!!!!!!?” I did that too, I replied. She then said again that I owed her $28.50 for services and I let her know quite loudly that I didn’t owe her anything and I was absolutely prepared to discuss that with her manager or whomever else she wanted to call. Beth finished and as we were walking out, the Ho! SLAP! Ho! SLAP! lady said “Well, be sure to stop here on the way back from Oshkosh for fuel since she let me “slide” this time. I laughed AT her and said whatever.
During all this time there had been another pilot paying for his fuel and watching the whole show of this lady riding her broom stick around the terminal building. He stopped me before getting in the plane and asked how much I’d paid for my fuel. When I told him and he realized that I’d paid less than half of what he paid, he said he’d never be back to their again either. We chatted for a little bit and discovered that we were both from Southeast Pennsylvania, less than 12 miles apart. He is from Doylestown Pennsylvania and is the owner of Underwater World (a SCUBA shop); I also SCUBA dive so he’s definitely a good guy. “Mike” is also the owner of a really nice Piper Arrow. What a small world huh?

We hopped back in the aircraft and I called the tower and picked up our flight plan clearance from Detroit to Oshkosh and we were soon on our way. For this leg, I decided we’d climb up to 10,000 feet in case there was a problem crossing over Lake Michigan. If we happened to be in the middle of the lake and the engine quit, we wouldn’t be able to glide to shore, but it would give us some valuable time to holler like hell and try to learn how to fly on our own. I wonder if Beth’s shoes float? SLAP!!!! Perhaps those lounge chairs would that we had but didn’t realize we’d never unpack. Nice idea honey. SLAP!!!! The engine ran fine and we didn’t end up having to swim to shore. The airway that crosses over Lake Michigan along our route is called V510. We flew V510 over the lake and began our descent out of 10,000 feet for a new assigned altitude of 4000 feet to prepare for the VOR Rwy 27 approach into Oshkosh.

The Flight Cheetah FL190 had been rebooted and all appeared normal. We’re flying along V510 from Muskegon Michigan to Falls VOR in Wisconsin, right about the middle of the lake. The altitude on the GPS shows 8440 and we had just started our descent out of 10,000 feet. We could hear a little bit of traffic on the radio but since the actual event wasn’t starting until Monday, there was still a lot of aircraft that hadn’t left to come out to Oshkosh yet. The picture below shows Oshkosh as we approach from the East. We would be parking down on the left side of this runway (runway 27). See how open it is on the right side of the runway. That whole area would be full by Sunday night! We broke out of the weather after descending through 3400 feet and cleared for the approach in to Oshkosh. We were cleared to land runway 27 on the Green Dot and soon we were on the ground. We were at OSH!

For my pilot and controller buddies, our clearances were as follows:

Leg 1, Duration 4:06	KLOM PTW RAV V170 ERI V116 YQG KDET @ 6,000 feet.
Leg 2, Duration 3:07	KDET DUNKS V170 LESSY LAN V2 MKG V510 OSH KOSH @ 10,000 feet.

I nailed the Green Dot with the main gear touching down right in the center of the green circle, slowed down a bit and turned off the runway into the grass and began following the marshallers that would be directing us to our parking spot. The marshallers are all volunteers that come in to see the airshow too. They volunteer their time for a day while they are there and are taught a job for that day. It sounds really fun to do and I think one day we’ll volunteer too. I hope Beth doesn’t get a plane director’s role because there will no doubt be a traffic jam! SLAP! I can see the headlines now “Crazy Woman Causes Pile Up At The Oshkosh Aircraft North 40 Campground”, SULLLLAAAAAAP! Like Stevie Wonder shootin’ skeet; everybody would be running in different directions! SLAP! About the time I earned that arsh whoopin, it started to rain!

We still had to set up the tent, find ice for the beer, unpack Beth’s shoes, SLAP!, find something to eat, and do it all in umbrella’s and poncho’s! Lucky for us, the rain only lasted about 10 minutes and it took us that long to taxi to our camping spot. There were airplanes everywhere and it was only Saturday – 2 days before anything started; except of course the drinking! As we were taxiing to our spot, Mother Nature presented us with a beautiful rainbow. This would be a recurring gift from the HO! SLAP! because she would make it rain Saturday through the morning of Tuesday.
We got the tent set up before the sun went down and I was able to get a few photo’s of some of the planes in our immediate area. We found out quickly that one of our neighbors to the right of us was also from Doylestown. It’s pretty wild meeting two people out of 800,000 in attendance that live right down the road from you.

The Viking Witch Below (From the Front & Back). The GAC in the windows stands for General Aviation Camping so the marshallers would know where to direct our taxi.

Finally we got the tent set up and Beth’s shoes inside. Beth spent the next hour and 1/2 setting up the inside with all the “roughing it” gear we’d brought along to include a Koehler faucet, chest of drawers, closet, vanity mirror & lighting, dirty clothes basket, air mattress, sheets, and space pillows. I’d have settled for a sleeping bag on the grass and a stick to brush my tooth. I didn’t mention it to her yet, that during setting up of the tent, I kinda, sorta, perhaps split one of the poles that holds the whole tent up. I knew if the wind blew, the tent was going to collapse so I was going to sleep on the East side of the tent – furthest away from the possible fall line. Even more so, if it rained and was windy and collapsed, I’d not get wet or clobbered by a falling tent. Yay! SLAP!

There would end up being over 11,000 smaller aircraft and 800,000 folks in attendance for Oshkosh Air Venture 2009.

We spent the rest of the afternoon meeting the neighbors and then went over to Friar Tuck’s Pub, which was just outside the airport fence, and had dinner and the local beer. I guess we were more exhausted than we realized because just after 7:00 PM CST, we found ourselves almost falling asleep in our plates and both appeared to be in a daze from the “prop lag” that we must have been experiencing.

We paid the check and walked outside just in time to see the 2nd rainbow of the day. We could hear it storming outside as we were eating and kinda waited until it settled down. As we were standing outside waiting for it to totally quit raining, we ran into our Doylestown SCUBA buddy, Mike, again. We chuckled at how slim the chances were that we’d run into each other again amidst the hundreds of thousands of people already there.

A few minutes later we walked back over to the airport and around the runway’s edge towards our tent. Each one of these trips we would make on foot was over a mile each way so we’d end up walking and jogging almost 37 miles during the week. We have the Garmin GPS watches that we use for jogging so we knew the 37 miles was accurate and since I was exercising so much I’d get to drink more beer! YAY.

Sunday morning came early and after almost 10 hours of sleeping, I woke up to the sound of sprinkle on the tent ceiling and Beth shrieking at the fact that her side of the tent had somehow collapsed and soaked her sleeping bag! hehe SLAP SLAP SLAP!. I acted like I was still sleeping while Beth “discovered” the numerous holes that we apparently have in our tent. I’m not sure how they got there but we’d let the youngens borrow the tent a time or two so they must have drove stakes through the tent. Little turds! SLAP! I’m gonna shave the boys head when I see him. After Beth dried the tent out and got all of her shoes elevated enough to not get wet from the small stream that ran through the West side of the tent, we grabbed our toiletries and walked up towards the showers that were 1/2 mile up the taxiway. Beth is lucky she’s a girl (me too) because there are only about 1/20th the amount of women at Oshkosh so the ladies showers were a lot less packed than the fella’s showers. There are 32 showers on each side and there is probably never less than 50 dudes in line to wash their parts. On the outside of the entire shower building there are numerous wall plugs so you can charge your phone, camera, and aviation scanner, oh and the ladies hair dryers. The entire community of folks there seem to be quite honest as nobody seems to worry about the expensive gear they leave plugged into the outlets whilst they go shower. That’s a nice feeling to know that there are so many honest people out there; many more than we probably realize. After everything was washed, teeth brushed, whiskers shaved and hair dried, we walked back over to the tent to drop off our shower stuff and then began our long walk, 2 miles this time, to Target and Starbucks. There was a shuttle bus that ran back and forth to Target, but it wouldn’t start until Monday – the official start date of EAA Air Venture. We picked up a few things from the store and also got a large cup of coffee. Oh, I was able to get a big bag of ice for the cooler and even managed to get it back over to the tent before most of it melted. I learned a 20 pound bag of ice weighs a helluva SLAP! lot more than 20 pounds after carrying it for 2 miles. After feeling came back to my arms and the beer was on ice, we grabbed our breakfast that we’d bought, chairs, camera, scanner, and coffee and walked over to the runway to watch the conga line of aircraft arriving at Oshkosh. Although there are tower air traffic controllers “in” the tower, there are also a bunch of controllers on trailers beside each runway where they are also controlling arriving aircraft too.

View Full Album

The wind had continued to be as strong as it was the day before at around 18 knots with gusts to 28. Fortunately, the direction from which it came was within 30 degrees of heading right down the runway so most pilots were able to land without too much dancing down the runway. There were a few that did go around to try again; which was the safest move for them to do. I’m glad they didn’t think they “had” to land with so many folks sitting along the runway watching. That peer pressure has no doubt been a contributing factor to many of mishaps in the past. We sat and watched arrivals for a few hours and recorded some of it.

Click on the “play” button to hear a couple of minutes of air traffic controllers working the arrivals in to Runway 27. Here is the Arrival Procedure the aircraft were following. Remember, the show hadn’t even started yet, so these controllers weren’t even busy yet. During the peak arrival period, the controllers would work for about 20 minutes before being relieved by another controller. After a couple of days, we’d start to recognize voices and new which ones were good and which ones were, uhm, less gooder. That’s when we’d all get together and watch the airshow! Nobody scratched paint although sometimes we weren’t sure how!

It was recommend that we take the free shuttle over to the Oshkosh Museum, so we walked over to the bus stop and caught the shuttle to the Oshkosh Museum that we honestly didn’t even know existed. We were certainly happy we did go over as this is a really fun place to visit. Lot’s of aircraft on display, movies playing all the time, helicopters rides in progress, and a huge store filled with goodies. They even have a full motion simulator. I tried to get Beth to go in it, but unfortunately SLAP! she saw it in action and realized it went upside down. I can’t fathom the arsh whoopin SLAP! I’d have gotten if I’d been able to get her in that thing and did a barrel roll or two! We spent a couple of hours there at the museum and then caught the bus back over to the vendor area to have a look around at what would be open during the week.

The bus park is only a couple of hundred feet from the main show area which is situated just West of the Tower. There are four large hangers and tons of other displays from each aircraft, avionics, and gadget company aviation and/or speed related. I say speed because there were boats, race cars, motorcycles, and souped up golf carts all around. The vendors were still setting stuff up but we were able to find something to eat for lunch and a place to sit. Here is one of the “speed” things we came upon while walking around. I had to splice this picture together as it was too big (and not enough room behind me) to get the whole truck and trailer in one picture. Those are jet exhausts just behind either side of the cockpit. We saw later that the truck cap lifts up and two wide screen displays come up from each side of the bed and plays jetboat.

We walked around for a bit longer looking at all the setup activity going on and then headed for the aircraft parking area to look at the various aircraft that people flew in. There were probably already 4,000 aircraft on the field at this time and everyone was busy setting up their campsite, polishing up their aircraft, watching the arrival airshow, or watching everyone else do those things too, as we were. By the time we got back though, the thunder clouds had moved back in and rain was threatening to come down upon us once more. Beth barely got inside the tent before the bottom fell out of the clouds and thinking quickly I turned around and told her I was going to restroom. Why? Because I knew once the tent started leaking she would be losing her mind SLAP! and there was no way that I wanted to be within striking SLAP! distance and in an confined area during crazy time! After running over to the porta-potty, I stopped back by the neighbors who were out standing underneath their wing drinking Southern Comfort on the rocks. Not wanting to be a bad neighbor, I quickly accepted the offer of one for me too. An hour and 25 minutes later, I saw Beth down the row of airplanes with a flashlight calling me by name. She must have thought I’d got lost and came out of the tent and turned left to go look for me. If she’d have turned right, she would have found me one plane over with another Southern Comfort on the rocks in hand. I knew I was in big trouble so I just giggled while I could SLAP!.
Having not eaten in an hour of so, everyone started talking about dinner and where everybody else was going. We ended up going as a group to this little kitchen right across the street from the airport that was a secret to all besides the locals. We walked up, waited for a couple of booths, and proceeded to have an awesome home cooked meal that was fantastically delicious. We all agreed that we’d be back to this place again and with full belly’s, we all headed back towards the airport and the North 40 tent city. There was an opening night celebration back at the “theater in the woods” so Beth and I walked all the way back past the main event area and took our seats just as the guest speaker was coming on stage. Dennis E. Fitch walked out and looked at the crowd for a moment. When he began speaking, there wasn’t a sound being made. See, Dennis was the instructor pilot who was riding (deadheading) back to his home base aboard the ill-fated DC-10 over 20 years ago that crashed in Sioux City. Dennis wasn’t in the cockpit when the trouble started, but certainly had a major part of lessening the loss of life on that plane. His recount of the incident took an hour and we all gave him our undivided attention. I’m really happy we were able to listen in. Afterwards, we walked back in the dark towards our campsite. It was late when we reached our tent so we wished everyone a good night and went in for the night. As I lay on my dry side of the air mattress, SLAP! I was nice and shared the covers that she’d shared with me and we slept soundly until the next morning.

We woke up Monday morning to the sound of aircraft engines running. The field opens up at 6:00 am for departures and arrivals an hour or so later. I found it odd that folks were already leaving but learned later that many flights come in on Saturday like we did, and then during the week will go on short flights to surrounding areas for sight seeing and then return to fly the conga line Ripon-Fisk arrival back into the airport. We watched a few departures then Beth had a terrible idea and made me get dressed to go running. I threw myself at the ground to fake an injury and tripping, but it was soggy and now I was just wet, muddy, and standing there in my shorts & running shoes dripping. Damn! SLAP! We must have run a couple of hundred miles around the airport even though my GPS only said less than 4 but I’m thinking it was in err since it wasn’t calibrated for Oshkosh terrain (Beth is looking at me like I’m crazy and reminds me that there is no such thing as calibrating for Oshkosh terrain). Whatever; she’s crazy and I’m not. SLAP! After barely pulling together the strength to go and shower, shave, and SLAP!, we headed over to the Target and Pick and Save to get coffee and a muffin and probably lots of stuff we didn’t need. We’re good at that; we’ll go in for Q-tips and come out owning most of the store. Sl……. (she knows it true so she just warmed up a little). I was starting to come to life right around 8:00 am when we got back from grocery shopping and walked over to the main vendor displays. John Deere is one of the sponsors and there are bunches of John Deere Green Tractors pulling everyone around the airport in wheeled trolley’s. Each tractor has a driver of course, but there is also a “volunteer” that sits in the very back of the trailer and hollers at people for sticking their arms out the window or climbing over the seats and being bad in general. They also get to holler at the driver when it appears safe to drive away from the loading and unloading zone so they are given their own microphone and loudspeaker. You know I’m volunteering for that role one day. “Lady with the Blue Hair, Please Sit Down!” SLAP! I’m all over it! If they let me drive a tractor we’re going off-roading until they catch me.

We walked over to the ultralite area and got to watch a bunch of cool aircraft that were doing their own little airshow. Many of them were home made, some one-of-a-kind, and some didn’t even have sides – just bars. Very cool and I know I would love to have a coupla-three of them too. There are certain restrictions on the aircraft to allow them to participate in certain “categories” of aircraft. Each category has its own set of rules to live by including weight, speed, fuel capacity, and a few other particulars. I saw that there would be a presentation the following morning entitled “Introduction to Powered Paragliders”. I would absolutely be attending that one for sure as I want to learn how to pilot the powered paragliders and fly around the backyard for a bit. We stayed for a while and then headed for the center of the vendor area as it was time for a bite to eat and a look at the homebuilt composites. I figured lunch would be about as expensive as movie theater meals. I was right.

About the same time we left the ultralites, a large flock of aircraft flew overhead and around the surrounding towns leaving a trial of smoke behind. They kept a nice tight and clean formation throughout their demonstration. There was also a four ship that screamed by in front of them and entered a midfield break for the overhead pattern – smoke on the whole time as well. I was listening in to my scanner and heard a controller giving traffic on White Knight II so we boogied up to the flightline quickly to watch the arrival of the space delivery vehicle called White Knight II. We had heard it was coming in today and the first glimpse we got of it really looked cool and showed a very odd looking twin tailed aircraft.

What a cool aircraft. The theory is, they attach a spacecraft in the center of the wing and carry it to a high altitude where the spaceship then starts it’s engines, and blasts off in to space. It looks like such a fragile aircraft but the word is, it’s terrifically strong! It would be my luck to have the left side shoot off to the left somewhere and the right, to the right. Actually, the cockpit is on the right and the windows on the left are actually only painted on and don’t really exist at all. We watched the arrival show by the WhiteKnightII for a few minutes and then started looking at some of the aircraft parked all about the airport.

View Full Album

So many cool aircraft were in every direction we looked. The new Army Medical Helicopter and the cool looking Duetsche Push/Pull Prop, and Duggy (a/k/a Daisy by the crazy one, SLAP! ) the yellow smiley faced DC3. The official airshow hours are between 3:30 – 6:30 CST but with the awesome amount of arrivals and departures, its pretty much an airshow all the time. It was getting later in the afternoon and the beer had been on ice for quite some time so it was time to go have a swaller or two to make sure it hadn’t gone off. It didn’t.

We noticed that the clouds were starting to build again and so I grabbed another beer. I had a great idea that if it rained hard, I’d wash the plane using the rain water to rinse her off, so I had another beer. I prepped my washing supplies so I had a washing glove on one hand, wash soap sitting on the tail, I was wearing a $1.47 poncho that I bought from the Wal-Mart, and grabbed another beer in my other hand. When I heard Beth holler that the tent was leaking SLAP! I knew it was time to start washing. I squirted some soap on my glove and started washing like a crazy girl on the price is right. I was able to get about 2/3s of the plane washed before the rain became a drizzle and not quite enough to rinse her off sufficiently. I had bought two gallon sized water jugs but used them to finish rinsing off the suds instead of trying to finish up. I knew it would rain again so I’d have more opportunities to wash her nose off before departing for Wings Field later in the week. By the time I got everything put away, it was time for another beer and the sun was getting way low on the horizon. We walked back over to Friar Tucks for a great fish sammich and local wheat beer. Both were delish and filled our bellies. The field closes to arrivals at 8:00 pm, so the walk back to the tent was quiet of aircraft engines, but all throughout the camp, I could hear other crazy women SLAP! hollering about the rain water soaking their sleeping bags and clothes. I’m so glad that I brought plenty of clothes right honey? Honey? SunuvaSLAP! I swear I saw a grin in her eyes when she relayed that it didn’t appear that the pile of boxers she’d reminded me to pack actually got packed in my bag that I was responsible for packing. I knew it was gonna be an early morning because I was bringing my shorts with me to the showers and I was gonna take over the place to get some clean drawers! SLAP!

Tuesday morning did in fact come early and by 5:45, I had already washed me and my drawers in the shower facility and had them drying on the prop. I knew it would take a while for them to dry so my plan was to get over to the show area as quickly as possible so everyone wouldn’t see the hillbilly who owned them. I wasn’t too worried though, because Beth didn’t know that I had hung them out so she was just hanging out and everybody around us thought she’d done it and she was the lil redneck girl. hahaha! Lil Red! SLAP! ouch. Today was going to be a way cool day. The A380 would be arriving, we’d get to see a helicopter do loops, and we were be going over to the sea plane base for a look at their operations. First stop: The Seaplane Base!

In order to to get to the sea plane base, we had to take a bus as it was about 5 miles away down country roads with live wild dogs, snakes, and crazy people. The lake is only 1 mile short of Rwy 27 approach end, but the seaplane base is offset to the South a bit. The seaplane base has quite a few vendors set up too. Mostly there are seaplane salesman, float vendors, and a bunch of life preserver dudes selling their latest models.

View Full Album

The bus ride took about 10 minutes and dropped us off by the edge of the woods. We could hear stuff going on down a trail so everyone on the bus became lemmings and followed the first dude in the line. Glad he didn’t take a wrong turn. About 1/4 of a mile down the trail, the woods opened up into a beautiful cove along the shoreline. There were seaplanes everywhere! I could smell corn on the bbq and it smelled delish! BTW, that’s the only way we eat it! Soak corn in water (under water is best) for about an hour while it’s still inside the shuck. Don’t cut any shuck off!!!!! After it soaks for an hour, throw it straight on the grill just like that and roll it over after 10 minutes and cook it for 10 on the new side. It’ll be hot when you shuck it now, but it’ll also be the best corn you’ve ever eaten! Nice! Anyway, sure enough there was bbq’ing corn and burgers and dawgs and taters. We walked around for about an hour looking at all the planes and watching a few take off and land on/from the water. It’s really neat to see. We looked at the booths that were setup and they were lots of water-related “stuff” as expected. Click on the pics to see them up close. We got smart before we left for the seaplane base and filled up a small cooler with ice, water, fruit, sammiches, cheese curds, snap peas, and chocolate. It was just after 11:30 am by the time we finished walking around so we sat down at a picnic table and unpacked our big lunch and ate and ate and ate. We finished up with some fresh fruit and headed back to the bus stop to get back to the airport in time for the A380 arrival. We barely made it!

After jumping off the bus and trotting over to the trolley, we were enroute to the flight line when we saw a huge thing hanging in the sky. It was, of course, the arriving A380 in slow flight. It appeared just to hang there in the sky but was actually probably moving over 150 miles an hour, at a minimum. They would be giving tours in this heffer and yes, I’d be standing in line to go aboard.

We weren’t close enough to the runway to see it actually land, but apparently, it was a very VERY hard landing and the pilot pretty much flew the aircraft into the runway and the wings bent quite a long ways down and there were a lot of post landing inspections that had to be completed over night. If you look on YouTube, you can probably find a video of it if you search for A380 Oshkosh. I saw the video and it was kinda surprising that they pretty much crash landed. We watched it taxi in to parking and soon heard the crackle of the intercom announcing the beginning of the airshow! First up, the Red Bull Helicopter!

View Full Album

This dude is crazy. I’ve never seen a helicopter do what this fella could do with it. Very graceful in flight and he did maneuvers that put g’s on the rotor blades. I was definitely impressed. Here’s a whole album of just his show. Click on any one of the pics to bring up larger views. During the show he was taking questions and providing answers as he did loops and rolls. Really a great show! We stayed on the flightline of runway 36, which was the airshow active runway, for about two hours and then headed back to the tent to get ready for dinner, drinking, and watching/listening to the arrival train of hundreds of aircraft that were in holding outside of the towers airspace. Every afternoon about 30 minutes before the airport reopens (after the airshow ends), airplanes start showing up at holding points Southwest of Oshkosh airport. It is quite fun to watch the conga line trek its way to the airport. We have a scanner that we listen to and watch all the aircraft react to the instructions that the tower is giving to them. If you missed the short 2 minute audio up top, have a listen, it’s pretty cool!

We filled up the cooler, grabbed the chairs and camping table, scanner and sunglasses and headed out to the runway’s edge of runway 27, which would be the arrival runway for the daily arrivals of aircraft into Oshkosh. As the aircraft land and exit the runway, there are a bunch of volunteers waiting along side of the runway that I was telling you about earlier. The “topgun” marshallers get to ride mopeds around the field and “taxi” the aircraft to their parking spots. It’s quite busy and you can see in the picture to the right that the moped dude ain’t watching where he’s going so it must be a lady driver SLAP!SLAP!SLAP!SLAP!. JUST KIDDING. He intercepted this aircraft and directed him to parking just 3 planes down from where we were. Beth wants to drive one of these mopeds next year and all I can say is I’m glad I’ll already be parked when she starts directed running aircraft! SLAP!

After the arrival of aircraft ended for the day, we walked back over to the tent and sat outside for a bit and laughed and cut-up and told story’s with the neighboring aircraft owners. It was fun and we made some good friends. Speaking of which, each day dozens of presentations, how-to classes, workshops, and seminars took place on a multitude of topics dealing with everything from building aircraft to interpreting the weather. There were a bunch of topics in between as well, like Aerial Photography. We wanted to attend this class and gained some good information from the presentation. Coincidentally, one of our North 40 tent neighbors we met is a professional pilot and actually owns his own aerial photography business, http://www.americanaerialphotos.com. Real nice fella and full of laughs. Beth, Dick, and I went to breakfast together the following morning over at the Hilton just outside the perimeter fence of the airport. I think I asked him 11, 428 questions about photography and airborne picture taking. We love to take photos of our journeys and any pointers we can get helps us that much more. Dick is also putting together a training course that teaches not only the fun part of his business (snapping photos), but the necessary part as well - the business end. He's good people and we hope to see him again at a future Oshkosh.

Going Home Early

There are weather briefers at various locations around the airport. These are manned by meteorologists and they provide pilots with current and forecasted weather patterns and such. The weather along our route from Oshkosh to Wings Field in Philadelphia wasn't going to be pretty over the next few days but our best chance of a no thunderstorms flight would occur on Thursday. We had planned on leaving Friday because we wanted to attend our neighbors wedding on Saturday; same neighbors whom caused us to become volunteer fire fighters last Superbowl Sunday. Anyway, the weather patterns indicated a better flight day to be Thursday so we made plans to return a day early and make a long weekend out of it back at home.

Since today would be our last day at Oshkosh, we wanted to make the best of it so we walked around looking at everything we could take in. We spent a lot of time in each of the four large vendor hangers looking at all the neat stuff that was coming out. Things like inexpensive HUDs (Heads Up Displays) for general aviation, IR technologies, NVG's (Night Vision Goggles), and other cool video gear that enables you to see the airport in pitch black conditions. Lots of airplane parts, paints, and procedures as well. I could have stayed in there all day but didn't want to miss that other stuff left to be seen.

Tours were being giving in the Airbus A380 so Beth and I headed up to get in line and get our chance for a peek inside. Ironically, the A380 pilot had flown the world’s smallest twin engine aircraft in to Oshkosh 20 years ago and had now flown the world’s largest passenger aircraft in this year.

One thing that I was surprised about was the fact that most of the interior of the airplane was open with wires and stuff hanging out. Once explained though, it made sense. The A380 is still not "in production" if you will. Numerous tests are still being completed and several configurations of test gear are shuffled between flights. There are large water buckets to simulate the weight of passengers in each row with only a few real seats strewn about. Actually, the seats are for the testers and not representations of what the real seating will look like. The tour started on the top floor and we worked our way to the back of the aircraft, down a wide staircase, then back towards the front. The cockpit was closed to visitors but I was able to take a picture of a picture to give you an idea of what was behind the doors. It was pretty impressive and makes me wonder how the B787 will compare.

View Full Album

Afterwards, we decided to mosey back to the tent and begin packing up our stuff. We would get as much ready as possible and pack what we could in order to leave around 8:00 am. I had filed an IFR flight plan and had reserved a departure slot for the same time. If departing VFR (visually), we wouldn't need a slot time and could simply follow the marshallers out to the runway, wait for clearance for takeoff, and then head east - however the (forecasted) weather wouldn't allow for that so we filed IFR (instruments). By the time we finished packing what we could, the Viking Witch looked like Sanford and Sons truck with all sorts of stuff crammed in. It's a good thing we had the chairs we never took out! SLAP! Dick had already packed up (he didn’t have the chairs and shoes to deal with, SLAP! ) and headed back home and our immediate neighbors Rob and Bob, whom I had had a swaller of Southern Comfort on the rocks with were packing up too. Rob owns a Cherokee that is also parked at Wings (we didn’t know each other prior to Oshkosh), and Bob owns a beautiful V-Tailed Bonanza.

After most everything that could be packed up was packed up, we headed over for a bite to eat, a sip of local beer, and then off to bed for an early rise.

Thursday Morning. “Honey, it’s raining”. We woke up early and went and showered while the line was still short so it wouldn’t take so long to get ready to get airborne. Afterwards, we caught the bus over to the Pick & Save to get some Cheese Curds for our buddies Annette & Allison & Brandon & Rob and ice for the cooler to keep them from spoiling. I was beginning to worry about making our slot time, but there weren’t a lot of people and traffic out since it was raining, foggy, and reduced visibility. We got everything back to the plane and packed in the cooler before taking down the tent to put on board the plane. I’m not sure how we did it, but we got all the shoes, makeup, hairspray, blankets, pillows, snacks, and necessities aboard the Viking Witch and was still able to close the door. tap tap tap. Rob and Bob got airborne just a few minutes before we did and were headed south to Chicago before heading East towards Philadelphia.

I couldn’t believe it but the weather broadcast was stating the field was under VFR (visual) flight conditions. I called Clearance Delivery and picked up my IFR clearance to Ashtabula Oh, which is just outside of Erie Pennsylvania by 10 miles. The controller told me not to start engines yet and to wait for her call because Milwaukee was delaying departures due to weather. Five minutes later I called back and got another 15 minute delay. This happened twice more and then I asked if I could keep my IFR open, but depart VFR and pick up the actual clearance overhead Lake Michigan. The controller did some coordinating and approved my request. I immediately cranked up the engine and we began taxiing at the direction of the Marshallers and was soon airborne. My IFR request had delayed us by an hour while my VFR request got us airborne in less than 5 minutes from the time we started taxiing.

After getting airborne we turned to the North until leaving the tower’s airspace before turning back to the East and starting a climb up to 7500 feet. We weren’t able to climb straight to altitude because we left under visual rules and it would be our responsibility to see and avoid other aircraft and to remain clear of clouds. As soon as we received our instrument clearance we would then be allowed to enter the clouds. We dodged clouds and other aircraft for about 40 miles and then in the center of Lake Michigan on V510 I called Muskegon approach and received our IFR (instrument) Clearance. We descended to 7000 and immediately entered the clouds to not see the ground again until 10 miles off-shore of Lake Erie descending into Ashtabula County airport.

After landing in Ashtabula, I taxied up to the fuel “pit” to the self-service pump and stopped short to allow another Piper in front of me to finish fueling his aircraft. “Honey, isn’t that your Scuba friend from Doylestown?” No Way! Sure enough, it was and completely unplanned. This is the same fella we had met up with in Detroit and again at Friar Tucks. We had to chuckle a bit and then laugh at the slim chances that could have happened yet again. After Mike departed, I pulled the Viking Witch over and filled her tanks, than pulled her over to the main parking area and tied her down. We’d filled up the cooler with sammiches and waters for the trip home and now we enjoyed lunch and stretched our legs a little bit before jumping back in the plane to continue our trip home. That leg had lasted 3.6 and covered just under 400 miles.

The weather was showing signs of higher ceilings to the East so I never did call for my next clearance and instead elected to fly the last 2 hours VFR with flight following by the air traffic controllers. We took off and began a climb up to 7500 feet to take advantage of the 25 knot tailwinds that were up there. We still had to dodge the clouds and we did so by dancing between, above, and below them (ahem, while still maintaining separation requirements). It was a smooth and fun ride home.

We were almost able to fly directly to Wings but you can see the occasional jaunt to the left to avoid the clouds. After we contacted the controllers, they requested we climb to 9500 to avoid an arrival corridor so we did and gained another 5 knots of tailwind. Soon the Philadelphia skyline came into view and a few short minutes later we were on final to runway 24 at Wings. The cargo area had a full load and I was able to aero-brake like a fighter jet and kept the nose off the ground for 2000 feet down the runway; even got an “attaboy" by a Citation taxiing out for departure. It took us about an hour to unload everything, but we finally did then tied down and covered the Viking Witch and headed home. All in all, a wonderful trip and I know we’ll go again. Looking forward to it!

We met a bunch of really neat folks and hope to see them again too. As Oshkosh 2010 approaches, we’ll have to start coordinating to meet up at Friar Tucks for a beer. Last one there buys!

Ya’ll be safe and call your mama’s and tell ‘em you love ‘em. Be Particular.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons license.

OshKosh 2009 Presentation Schedule v1

Shane Watts — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 18:11:00 GMT

We’re almost ready to depart for OshKosh 2009, the Worlds Largest Airshow lasting from July 24 – Aug 2, 2009. Here is our tentative schedule of events that we’ll be having a look at. It’ll probably change 27 times before and after we get there. When we return, I’ll be sure and post a journal about the trip.

Smooth Skies!

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons license.

Flight Seeing In March

Shane Watts — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 01:06:00 GMT

We took a quick flight today and had the camera sitting in the back seat recording our flight. Hope you enjoy it!

Flight Seeing In March

For our flight, we took off of Wings and the shot a touch and go up at Pottstown Limerick Airport. Next we flew over to Butter Valley for a touch and go and nearly got taken out by a golf cart, then down to Morgantown to look at the Paragliders and then back home. Initially I had just the arrival video in to wings, but I was able to get the departure from wings, arrival into Pottstown, arrival in to Butter Valley, and arrival back to wings. The quality is a little reduced to avoid the file getting toooooo large. Hope you enjoy it. I do have higher quality footage that I can publish is smaller chunks, so just lemme’ know if this is too small. The temperature today was about 74 and gorgeous. After Beth made me go to the gym this morning and go through an aerobics class after running 118 miles, I finally put my foot down (from across the room) and demanded we go flying. I won! Yay

Ya’ll Be Particular!

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons license.

Valentine’s Day Whoopin

Shane Watts — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 03:55:00 GMT

Good Morning and Happy Valentines Day Ladies. Fella’s, yer on yer own!

Yesterday after I got home from work, I came in the house limping, using a cane, and wearing a sad bulldog face. Beth took one look at me and her eye-brows drawed up next to one another at sharp angles and gave me the “GET YOUR GYM BAG” look and I knew that I wouldn’t win. She took my wrapping paper cardboard tube roller upper onner cane, and threw it away and pinched me by the ear and marched me upstairs to get my gym clothes. I then faked a phone call as I discussed project time lines and the budget. All was going well until the dad-gum phone rang when I was supposed to be talking on it and I was busted. Instead of waiting around to be counseled and beat about the legs, I ran down the stairs and out into the street where everyone could see me and come to my assistance should crazy lady follow me out of the house.

We did go to the damn SLAP! gym and although I was playing it off, I could tell all the other crazy ladies there were talking about tomorrow (today) and all. I acted like I was completely oblivious to what national holiday was coming up and went about my business of using up more energy to not workout, than to simply work out and expel only half that energy. Whining burns fat by the way. Every time Beth would go to a new machine, I’d go somewhere close but behind her and do a lot of grunting and exhaling loudly. Every now and again, I’d splash my face and navel with water so it looked like I was sweating. Me and the rest of the husbands were all doing the same thing. Heck, if we could have snuck beer in the gym, I’d go twice a day!

After we finished lifting weights, Beth declared it was time for “us” to go jogging. SonuvaSLAP! (splash). I felt like a boxer cause sweat (bottled water) flew off me in beads going in every direction. It looked like a Rocky movie when he was getting hit in slow motion and his bottom lip wrapped up around his neck and sweat went all over the building. I ran to the treadmills and tried to get the treadmill on the far end next to the lady who obviously works at that famous place known for their chicken wings and they also have an airline, but Beth was quicker than I and made me use the machine right next to her so we could go running together. I pouted and stuck my finger in her water bottle then started running. After 30 or 74 miles (I’m sure), it was finally time to finish this gym thing up, so we went and showered and then met back outside in the lobby. I was still sweating and panting and whining and being a cranky baby in general and I suggested that we go have a “light-dinner” and then we’d relax for the evening. Beth said that sounded good and it was my choice. HELLO ALE HOUSE. I put the hammer down and a few minutes later we arrived at the Audubon Ale House. My light dinner started off with 20 half priced BBQ’d chicken arms. Since there were half priced, I could eat twice as much right? The sauce was hot so I had to drink frequently to keep from burning my lips off my head. It was happy hour and I was pretty damn SLAP! happy.

Valentines stuff was all over the walls and folks were talking about it, so I couldn’t fake like I didn’t see it any longer. “Honey, when Valentines Day gets here next month, we should go out for dinner or something”. It was real quiet for a minute or two and then Beth said, “Yes Dear, that sounds nice”. I could tell by the tone, that she really thought I didn’t know that Valentines Day was next weekend, the 21st. We ordered salads and I ordered another beer just in case my salad had hot sauce on it. During dinner, I learnt that we would go and pick up the dawg, pick the boys up from a high school dance, stop by and see Joy & Matt & Beth’s Mom & Joey & William & Zipper, and then we could relax. I figured that would be about 3 in the morning cause Matt and I are fond of beer and all. SLAP! Dinner was delish and away we went. After we got back to the house, I relaxed for about 6 seconds and the next thing I knew it was morning.

We were supposed to go back to the gym this morning, but after Beth had fallen asleep (in 4 seconds) last night, I turned off the alarm clock and would worry about the punishment in the morning. We woke up about 7:50 this morning and neither one of us could figure out why the alarm didn’t go off. “Those things are so unreliable and all”, I said. We would no doubt miss the 8:00 a.m. workout class that I so much wanted to go to. I turned around and Beth was just smiling at me with those “Do You Know What Day It Is” eyes. “Uhm, Hi Honey, you ok?” I thought she was still a little sleepy perhaps. I told her I would be right back as I had to go get something. I recall she smiled brightly at those words and I still didn’t know why. I went and grabbed the newspaper and headed into the bathroom. Her smile wasn’t quite as big as it had been.

Oh Sheeeeeeeeeeet! The front of the news paper said Happy Valentines Day! I quickly dropped the kids off at the pool and then started formulating my next plan. “Uhm, Honey!, hehe, uhm, I gotta run up to the Wal-mart to pick up, uhm, some, starch. I’ll be right back!”, spoken all from behind the door. I opened the door and there before me was crazy-ninja-psycho-woman in a house coat, rollers, and slippers. “DO YOU KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS MISTER?” Gulp, “Honey, now do you really think I didn’t know today was Valentines Day. Do you think that I could have forgotten and would stoop so low as to not have ANYTHING for you at this particular moment in time, as we stand here, in the bathroom, and, uhm, honey, put that rolling pin down, and, need to sneak off up to the Wal-mart to find some carnations” SULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAP! Her nose began to exhaust smoke from each nostril and fire was dancing in her eyes. “HONEY, I meant Daisy's, uhm, Tulips?, Roses (she nodded), yeah Roses, uhm yellow ones, white ones, red ones (she nodded), yeah, Red Ones, with little weeds in them, uhm Posey’s. Don’t they sell roses up at the 7/11?” SLAP!!!!!

I jumped in the Vibe and double clutched that lil car until I had made it to Daisy’s R Us up in Limerick. On the way, I got stopped at the intersection and Marcel was selling a dozen roses for $11.45 (economy special) with only a couple of discrepancies. First off, for being a dozen, there were only 8 flowers in all. Of the 8, only 2 of them were remnants of roses and the other 6 were yard weeds. I almost bought it to save time but I didn’t have exact change. He had a much better selection last year and I think the weed to flower ratio was much closer. Poor Marcel, just trying to make a buck so he can brush that one remaining tooth he has. I went in to Daisy's ’R Us and bought a dozen tulips and a dozen roses and asked them to put the little white weed things amongst them but since I was as late as one could be, their weed selection was way down too.

I was able to find the heart shaped vase that I bought in a panic last year at this same time and filled it up with water and stuck the roses, tulips, white lil weeds and plant food. I shook it a little to mix up the plant food and one of the tulip heads fell off! By the time I got them all spread out and set up nicely, I had sacrificed 4 tulips, and dripped water all throughout the house. I put the sacrificed tulip petals in the kitchen on the floor. I thought it would be so romantic until we came downstairs later only to learn the damn SLAP! dawg ate them. Now she’s gonna have purple dookey-sticks for a week! SLAP!

This is the card that Beth gave to me.

She’d bought her cards months ago.
I bought mine 12 minutes ago.

I actually bought two, and lucky I did, as she did too. One I bought, was a Bassett Hound and then I got in trouble cause our dawg ain’t a Bassett Hound, it’s a German Shepherd with short legs; some folks call them Corgi's. That’s why the dawg is getting to sit in her lap and not me! Next year I’m buying flowers in November so I’m ready for Feb 15th. I hope ya’ll had very Happy Valentine’s.

Be Particular!

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons license.

Why The Neighbors' and Us Became Firefighters on SuperBowl Sunday

Shane Watts — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 03:40:00 GMT

In General, folks frown on burning down houses, especially when they are situated between two others, attached permanently, and providing no means of escape. Had we lived in a trailer park, we’d have hooked up the dog and drug our house down the road a bit or two. But, since we were stuck, we decided to throw a party instead and prepare to roast marshmallows.

Lemme’ back up a bit and give you a play by play of what really happened. Earlier in the day, I had come up with a great idea to get out of running. I had poured ketchup on my sock and screamed loudly from downstairs acting like I had dropped a tool on my toe and received multiple compound foot fractures and would, no doubt, be unable to go running or work out this day. My plan was working until I got caught dipping my egg biscuit on my sock and eating it. Now, looking at Beth like a deer does headlights, I did all I knew to do; I started crying, and then quoting made-up Bible verses, “eh Plurabus Forgivethneth, for-ith I-ith hav-ith madith a-ith mistakith and-ith pleadith temporaryith insanityith and-ith I-ith wantith to-ith go-ith runningith so-ith badith”. She didn’t buy it and I took off running by her and heading upstairs screaming “ouch” “ouch” all the way even though she’d never made contact; I’m sure she was trying to knock me in my damn head though, SLAP I mean damn eye, SLAP, head. I made my second mistake as I reached the top of the stairs. “Go ahead, give it your best shot, I dare you!” Slapityslapityslap! “No No Wait till I’m ready”. I took a step backwards, “Now I’m ReaSLAPdy”. “You’re lucky I have a compoundly fractured pair of feet”.

I reminded Beth that her Mama had called and needed assistance setting up her new TV. I’d no doubt broke many electronics and knew I had experience with this model too. Oh Oh, and I reminded her that we had to buy a drill bit for another project that I was working on, and some super glue for another project that I was re-working on, plus we still had to go to church, eat lunch, prep for the ball-game, walk the dog, and so many other things that would fill up our day. Not thinking about it and realizing that the run and gym would only be 2 hours and all the other stuff I’d reminded her of would be atleast twice that. I should have taken the gym, jog, and tv behind door number one, but instead picked door number 2 that (unbeknownst to me) had gym, jog, tv, drill bit, dog, super glue, mini-blinds, garage shelves, house cleaning, rotisserie yard-birds, car washing x 2, laundry folds, bathroom cleaning, food shopping, and snow shoveling. Damn!

SLAP

After all was said and done with door number 2, I stepped outside with beer in hand to say hello to our friends next door; the ones who would soon be burning down the neighborhood.

They have a 4 legged son named Mossi, or maybe Mossie, or perhaps Mossy – whatever, it starts with MO. The picture here is about a month old. He has doubled his size and weight in the last month but still preciously clumsy and equipped with a mouth full of needle teeth. Beth and I have declared ourselves his Auntie and Uncle; he loves me the most!

He’s a Piranha with legs!

Brandon (Mossi’s Old Man) and I had been outside for about 2 minutes when Brandon asked if I knew where the alarm was coming from that he’d heard and I hadn’t. I opened our door and it wasn’t us. Beth had stepped out for a few minutes and I was there alone rotisserie-ing two dead chickens but hadn’t set nothing on fire. Brandon then opened his front door and the alarm was very loud and we both knew it was coming from there. He quickly ran around the house sniffing for smoke while Mossi lost his mind and thought it was time for tag and went flying through the place like the Tasmanian Devil causing a wake of furniture and DVD’s to follow behind. Annette (Mossi’s Mama) had just bought a brand new skillet and was wanting to try it out but Brandon said that she was in the shower and not cooking right now. He noticed that the alarm was both smoke and CO2 so we went back outside and he decided to call 911 to ask if someone could check it out but would specifically tell them it wasn’t an emergency. He dialed the number, identified himself on the phone, turned around and noticed through the window Annette flying down the stairs butt naykid (she’d been in the shower and hadn’t heard the alarms), and he panicked and hung up the phone and ran in to stop her before she tore off down the street full monty hollering “fire!”. Well, 911 didn’t have a clue what was going on because he hadn’t yet told them it wasn’t an emergency so they took immediate action. Off in the distance we heard the fire siren go off and we knew we were in deep doodoo. I thought about that commercial where Southwest asks “Want to get away?”. I could run in my own house and act like I didn’t know him, but poor little Mossi would be scared of the big trucks that were on the way and what if Annette was gonna run down the street naykid & hollering? Somebody had to stay back and guard the place while Brandon chased after his honey through town.

We could see the main road from our house and because our address is brand new and not on any (but the newest) maps, we watched the fire brigade drive around the neighborhood looking for smoke, us waiving at them, or naykid people running down the street yelling fire.

Once they had us in their sights, trucks started rolling in from everywhere. We had ladder trucks, tandem trucks, Hummers, SUVs, jaws of life’s, ambulances, state troopers, medivac helicopters, CNN, Jehovah's Witnesses, and a dude setting up a hot dog stand all converging on our collective location. Our other friends and neighbors started sticking their heads out the window and getting ready to start pulling out garden hoses that hadn’t yet thawed and were stiff and unbendable. They could put out the fire as long as the fire was in the direction that the hose was permanently frozen in and as long as it was immediately below the hose roller upper since we couldn’t have gotten them off there too. Green Acres had come to Phoenixville and we wanted every damn SLAP body to know it! It was now time for Mossi to start taking dumps – in my house!

Just before the crews had showed up, Brandon asked if I could put Mossi in my house because of all the traffic in the road and the fireman running around the house. I said sure and brought Mossi over, gave him a treat, and walked back outside closing the door behind me. We didn’t know it then, but do now, that Mossi is scared of the sirens. I counted 22 puppy turds and figured there were 22 instances of siren activity in the front yard. Each time a siren would go off, Mossi would pinch off a turdlett wherever he was at the time; stairs, foyer, living room, kitchen, hallway, it didn’t matter, he was fair to the whole house!

The fireman thoroughly inspected the entire house for the existence of C02 and hidden fires and gave the house a safe rating. Apparently there was sheetrock dust in the alarms and caused the problem. These houses are all brand new and the dust associated with cutting the sheetrock must have worked its way in to the alarm system. The Fire Chief was telling us all this. This is about the same time when we all declared our intention to become volunteer fireman and women. I said (and it was a bad choice of words), “Are ya’ll real professional firemen or just volunteers”? I immediately realized what I had said when it got really really quiet all around me; the individual conversations ended, the sires stopped, the neighbors gasped, and I said “I mean, can we volunteer to join you?” The Fire Chief looked at me and said “I assure you, we have all the same certifications!” I think he ended it with dumba$$, but I’m not sure. Annette, clothed now, joined in the conversation and told us that she had long since been a volunteer firefighter. Brandon and I knew there was no way out of it now and we were Oaks/Phoenixville’s newest Firefighter Recruits. I didn’t stop there, I followed up my first question with, “Hey, do ya’ll have one of those beer halls attached to the back of the firehouse?” Again, the Fire Chief looked at me as if talking to a volunteer policeman and said, “NO we don’t”. I didn’t ask any more questions. Brandon and I were each given an application and have to get in shape as we were told for the first two months, we’d have to run to the fires until we earned the right to ride in the truck. Damn! SLAP

Annette with her brand new skillet that we thought was the original reason. She’s a wonderful cook and has only burned one other house down. KIDDING

Brandon’s reaction to the rescue siren. I can’t tell you how happy I am it was him and not me!

The Fire Chief gave us each an application to join. Next month we start working out as we won’t be allowed to ride in the truck yet. We have to jog to the fires until we earn the right to hold on to the back. I wonder if I’ll get to drive.

Our other Neighbor, Tim (and Cory), came driving up during the peak of all the activity just saying to himself, “not our house not our house”. It was. But all ended well and nobody hurt. On a side note, Tim has made it up to the higher rounds of American Idle. We went to listen to him play at the Epicurean the other night and this dude can sing ya’ll. I’m probably better and all SLAP, ok ok, I’m kidding. This dude is awesome and if ya’ll come over soon, I can probably get him to sign your shirt or forehead or something because when he get’s famous he probably won’t like us anymore; especially if we keep having our friends drive their firetrucks up in the yard and all.

So you can see that our Super Bowl Sunday was pretty exciting even before the game got started. It was perfect timing though as this incident was terminated right before 6:00 pm so the Fire Folks were able to get back to the multitudes of fire houses that they’d come from (we had a bunch) and get back in front of the telly in time to see the opening kickoff! I hope the Fire Chief (the same one that I’d unintentionally insulted, twice) isn’t my fire putter-outer trainer because I know he’ll make me run up stairs carrying hoses and people and kits and stuff “just for practice”. I wonder if he’ll believe me if I say I’m injured and I’ve fallen and I can’t get up. Beth will probably tell him I’m full-of-it or Brandon will say I’m lying and I’ll have to do pushups or crunches or something awful like that.

I wish I could have followed the firefighters as they went through the house. Everyone had masks on sounding like Darth Vader. Brandon remained a bright red as the lights continued to strobe and more and more neighbors came out. Annette, well she was pretty cold because she was still pretty much soaking wet from her interrupted shower. Me, after a while I just hid behind this tree and decided to keep my mouth shut before I somehow joined the French Foreign Legion. As quickly as the last fire vehicle left, Beth came driving up and said “Why is everyone standing around outside, what is there a fire or something”. “Silly girl” I said, “we’re waiting for you honey. Be careful going inside, there are baby turds growing in there.”

It’s been a full day. I did take the Viking Witch out for a minute or two today as well. I had to run down and shovel snow from around her parking area and couldn’t resist taking her for a quick spin. Its not good to let her sit there for too long, as she needs to fly and get a good work out fairly frequently. As the weather is starting to warm up a bit, we’ll begin again our flying adventures and write a line or two about them when we do. Ya’ll be particular and remember – don’t hang up on 911 cause they know where the hell you live SLAP. “Honey, check the chickens! Are they on fire?”

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons license.

Welcome to the blog of OtisAir!

Shane Watts — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 17:40:35 GMT

Boiled Peanuts, Lewis’s Britches, and My Toe In The Gulf

Shane Watts — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 04:32:00 GMT

All the peanut butter in the world wasn’t going to stop me from going to see my Mama! Beth and I had been trying to get the same time off for a year now to fly down and see my Mama and we finally worked it out and were going! We had made big plans last year for Thanksgiving to fly over to Columbia Missouri to my baby Sister’s house to spend Thanksgiving with them, but icing conditions prevented that from happening. My Mama and older Sister were both there too and we’d all be getting together. The morning that we were supposed to take off in the Viking Witch unfortunately turned nasty and icing conditions existed in layers between 4,000 and 11,000 feet so we wouldn’t be going via private air. I checked on commercial air prices and they were soaring past $800 return so I pouted for a bit and shaved the dog.

Click on Any Of These Photo’s for a larger look and what our crazy friends did next door in an attempt to try and get me to give birth. I shat SLAP a moose shortly after opening my front door to a VW sized chicken! We were late for the airport and I had to now go and take my 2nd shower of the morning!

We’d awaken the morning of the 6th of December at 3:00 am for the drive down to Philadelphia International Airport to catch our 6:00 a.m flight down to Pensacola Florida, by way of Memphis Tennessee. Unbeknownst to us, our friends next door had devised a way to make me doo doo on myself before leaving for the airport. I opened the front door to go out and start the car and this large, big-headed bird shot into the door at me and nearly caused me to give birth to a live Shetland pony. I could have sworn at the time that whatever it was, was coming in to get me and my whole life flashed before my eyes, including the time that I had gotten beat up by a girl in elementary school for commenting on her mustache. Click on the “View Full Album” to get a larger view of the big ole creature. My “backside” locked up more water tight that a duck’s behind!

After changing my clothes, I ran back downstairs and started the car, moved the Amazon Penguin back over into their doorway, loaded the bags into the car, plugged in all their outdoor Christmas lights, hollered for Beth to “C’mon Shugah”, and finally, we headed down the road. “Honey, did I unplug the curling iron?”

Our initial departure was late out of Philly, something to do with a baggage door being stuck up (perhaps by a curling iron cord), so we landed in Memphis with only 20 minutes bixteenst our next flight. Because of this, we unfortunately didn’t have a chance to load up on some Southwestern Tennessee BBQ. I know it would have been good though because I saw a bunch of people eating it that didn’t even have teeth. They’d just smile and say Gmornin’ to you as you walked by drooling bbq squeezin’s down there toothless chins. No doubt it was falling off the bone! Lou Rawls and Ray Charles used to sing a song about “Save The Bones For Henry Jones Cause Henry Don’t Eat No Meat”. I think I saw Henry this morning.

We made it onboard our next flight with a Starbucks in hand and we settled in for the quick flight down to Pensacola airport, just 45 minutes West of where my Mama lives in Shalimar. Lots of bad weather was coming up out of the Gulf, so we flew a southerly route out of Memphis and then flew Easterly along the shore at about 25,000 feet. It was purty, but I’d have much rather been doing the flying myself; lower and slower and wearing flip-flops and Bermuda shorts. Soon we landed, found our bags, rented a car and away we went.

We had brought the camera along with us and I was taking pictures of the coast like a hillbilly paparazzi at a celebrity panty-raid. This new program I found allows me to consolidate a bunch of photos into one panoramic view so the photo above is actually 6 that were taken at different angles. Look at me making a wide screen shot and not even knowing how to load film! I’m special!

About 20 miles outside of Shalimar we saw a sight that was beauty to my eyes – it was the largest Wal-Mart I’d ever seen. I thought I was at the Wal-Mart Mecca. I grabbed the change in the car ashtray and wind sprinted for the front door. I then wind sprinted back and got Beth. SLAP! “Sorry Dear, I’s a little bit excited. LOOK!, they are having an overalls sale!” I was able to wiggle my way out of her clenching grip and hurdle the buggy aisle and entered Thee Wal-Mart. They had everything from false teeth to nice suits on sale for $4.00. I was grinning so much I looked like I was a plastic surgery project gone wrong. I wanted to sing but I knew that even being in Thee Wal-Mart wouldn’t get me any “delayed beating credits” meaning I’d get whooped now and not later. I ain’t afraid of that crazy damn SLAP woman, uhm, yes I am. She’s lucky I’m seatbelted in this buggy now.

Look at all them Wal-Marts! Clickable Map

After buying all kinds of sports apparel and a suit for $11.00, we continued on our journey to Shalimar. We weren’t all that far out, we just didn’t want to get there too early as we had told them we’d be there around 1:00 and it was just a bit past 12 now. We could every now and again see some construction going on that was a replacement project from the massive Hurricane Ivan that came ashore September 16, 2004. Mom and Jim’s home had received a bunch of damage and it took forever for construction crews to become available to fix anything as they were so busy everywhere! I’d rather walk through a lions den wearing a pork chop jacket than take on a hurricane. No thanks! We arrive in Shalimar and run in to see Mom and Jim and their new 4 legged boy Lewis.

I couldn’t wait to get in the door and nearly got my clothes caught on the door handle. That would have caused me to arrive in the foyer naykid which wouldn’t have been a very proper way to introduce Beth to my Mama, Jim, and Lewis. Jim had stepped out for a lil bit as work had called and he was needed, so we got to sit down with my Mama and Lewis and chat for a bit. They had already put their Christmas tree up and it sure was purty. Ours isn’t up yet, but I’m sure that event will most probably make it’s way to the blog somehow.

Mom and Jim have been living in Shalimar for, oh must be about, 10 years I’d guess by now. They have a gorgeous home it’s just as purty & groomed on the outside as it is on the inside. Mom loves to cook and does always with excellent results. Jim loves the yardwork side of it (as do I) and their hard work definitely shows in the beauty of their home.

Mom had every burner on the stove going and the oven was full too. She’d made a feast for lunch and I was salivating like a bulldog at a hotdog eating contest. It was lunchtime and I had a spoon in my hand. I tried to get recipe’s but my Mom always says, “oh just throw a little bit of that in there, and a touch of this, and don’t forget that too if you want to spice it up a little”. I’ve no idea the volume of a “this” or “that” so that’s why I keep my cooking outside on the grill. If “this” or “that” falls through the grates on the grill, then it wasn’t meant to be. Lunch was scrumpdiddlyicious and although my Mama offered, I just couldn’t do fourths. “Honey, we’ll go jogging in a little bit to work it off.” SonuvabiSLAP! I started to retaliate until I noticed my Mama huntin’ the fly swatter and I knew that whatever was about to happen, I’d most likely be gettin’ hurt so I let them both win this little battle. I can still remember when I was a kid that I’d have to go out and bring back in a switch that was fixin' to be used to wear my behind out. I never did nothing wrong but sure did seam to get in trouble a lot for misunderstandings or situations beyond my control.

Goodness Gracious, I wasn’t mean like my two sisters, Tracy and Kelly.

Back to Mama and Beth; I believe they winked at each other and made a girl alliance or something.

Just a bit later, Jim came in and now the tides were going to turn. Lewis wasn’t about to join forces with me since 1. he didn’t like me, and 2. he knew his Mama fed him and not I, and 3. he didn’t like me. Jim would certainly put his foot down and keep both those crazy women (SSLLAAPP) from teaming up against me. He took one look at me and declared that I was on my own! Beth had mentioned to Jim that we’d be going jogging in the morning and, as a jogger himself, Jim suggested to go on the short route around the neighborhood first (37 miles I believe) to see how we liked it. I knew I had to act quickly to get injured in time to not have to run so I reached down and stuck my toe in Lewis’s mouth. Unfortunately, he didn’t bite it but now likes me even less.

My Mama told us that my Aunt Mary (her Sister) and Uncle Kenny (not her Sister) were coming by on Sunday to meet Beth and sit and chat a while. I sure was happy to get the chance to introduce Beth to them but was a little nervous cause Aunt Mary had spanked me plenty too. I believe it was probably always my Cousin Bobby’s fault that I got caught holding the chicken, or watermelon, or Ms Lumpkin’s false teeth, or whatever. I bet he made me hold it and then hollered “MAMA”. I’m such a victim.

Speaking of Victim’s. I think I know why Lewis hides every time more that 2 people are in the same room. It becomes picture time and dress up time! Click on them to see what that poor child goes through every time a camera comes near the house. He didn’t help me, so I didn’t help him. Ha! SLAP

This poor 4 legged child has been dressed up, shaved, bathed, nails painted, teeth brushed, hair permanated, tail trimmed, groomed, weed-eated, and photographed. He’s been turned into reindeer, farmers, Hawaiian Grass Skirt Dancers, and Toga’d.

Click On Any Image To Have A Larger Look.

My Mama had bought that poor child antlers, overalls, sweaters, britches, hats, boots, moccasins, snow-shoes, and a walking stick and the little thing would look at me like he was just all spent-up and couldn’t resist any longer. Those pants were something else, especially when Mom realized that she’d put them on backwards and upside down. His little Johnson was stuck up in his armpit and if he’d a tried to tinkle, he would have pee’d on his own ear. She did get them on straight and Lewis no longer walks sideways. Po Lil Thang.

The next morning Beth did make me go running and I think we ran probably 80 or 90 miles, uphill, in the snow. The air is noticeably thicker down here (humidity) and as I ran and tried to breath, I finally gave up and held my breath till we were done. I had been down here a couple of years ago closer to the summer months and remembered how humid it was too, compared to the less humid days that we get in Pennsylvania. It does get humid back home, but not quite this thick. That’s my excuse for whining the entire time and I’m sticking to it. While we were out running, we did find a little gazebo area on the shoreline of the bay and walked over to it and sat out and looked at the ducks playing in the water. That’s when the large lady yelled at us to get out of her backyard. Some people’s kids! No No, I’m kidding, we weren’t in her backyard (her neighbors) and she was yelling at the ducks that we were calling over. We acted like we had somewhere to go and quickly left.

We did a little shopping and later went back to the beach because Beth wanted to walk barefooted in the sand. I wanted to go skinny dipping in the gulf but there were signs all over the place written in Spanish and I’m only guessing they said, No Skinny Dippin’ In The Gulf. Instead we walked along the shore and took a couple of photos. Beth made me hold her hand and do all the crazy mushy stuff like look off into the sunset and make a wish and look up at the birdies flying and call to them. That’s when I got shat on by a damn SLAP pigeon. If I could have caught that little turd, we would have had a pigeon bbq tonight I tell you.

The Emerald Coast is such a gorgeous line of beaches along the Florida Gulf Coast. There weren’t a lot of folks out today besides Beth and I, and a Pigeon.

Beth made me run the same route the following morning and I’m sure I got tennis elbow from throwing food at (to) the Duck’s who wouldn’t come any closer than 30 feet away. After running the equivalent of the Iditarod, we went home and showered and all jumped in the car and headed for the Officer’s Club to Sunday Brunch! Brunch was awesome and I wish I could have carried out a doggie wheel barrow but they wouldn’t let me. In addition to the tons of seafood that I had, I had these Red Link Sausages that I’ve been unable to find up in Pennsylvania. I have tried and tried but have not been successful. If someone could please let me know where to get them things, I’ll cook some up for both of us! There was a pianist playing during brunch and we really had a fun and delicious time.

Not too long after returning from eating (we never really stopped eating), we went out shopping again. Beth and I were working on a plan to pay back Brandon and Annette (our friends next door to us) and my Mama had some ideas of where to get all the goodies we’d need shipped back up to Pennsylvania to execute our plan of action. Unfortunately, we didn’t find what we were looking for so that’s why I’m not telling you what it is. When we do find the stuff we’re looking for, it’ll definitely make the blog so stay tuned. Probably around the Spring time, I’d guess. We hurried home because My Aunt Mary and Uncle Kenny were getting close and we didn’t want miss out on any time we would get to spend with them.

My Aunt Mary and Uncle Kenny had arrived within minutes of us getting back home to Mama’s house and we were all so excited to see them. Every time we all get together, I hear such funny stories of how all those bad spoiled cousins and sisters of mine would get me in trouble because I was such a good kid and all. Aunt Mary had put enough whoopin’s on me too, for me to know not to mess with her or run at less than a sprinter’s pace should she call me by name. I remember my Uncle Kenny had once lifted my entire weight set over his head with one hand; he’s the man; cept he still won’t let me hide behind him if I’m in trouble with any of those crazy women in this house right now. SSSLLLAAAPPP!!!

On the wall in the hallway hangs a huge picture of my Mama and her little Brother Sonny. Uncle Sonny stands at 6’11” tall and swallows his chew tobaccy juice. He ain’t no punk either but all of us menfolk are highly respectful and, uhm, aware of the womenfolk in this house right now. Even Uncle Sonny’s look appears to be saying, “Yes Dear?” Beth is getting to meet more and more of my family and I’m so proud for them to all get together. We’re gonna try to plan a longer trip in the summer time and get down into the woods of Georgia so I can show her where I spent some of my summers growing up out on Berry Hill. Uncle Sonny lives up in Ellijay, which is in the Appalachian Mountains in Northern Georgia. We’re going there too!

As all fun things do, our trip down to my Mama’s was coming to and end and it was time to say goodbye for now and start planning for the next trip. We really did have a fantastic time and wish we would have had more time to stay. It’s sad really that months, sometimes even a year or two, go by and we haven’t gotten together. It’s my fault for not planning better, so please learn from my mistakes and go see your folks very soon! They miss you more than you probably realize. I’m hoping in the near future that my Sisters and their families and my Mama and Jim and Lewis and Beth and I can all get together for a visit. We’d have a ball and I’d even bathe. Lewis took a liking to Beth but still wouldn’t get within 10 steps of me.

We jumped in the car and headed back towards Pensacola airport and to my surprise, happened upon a little boiled peanut stand along the side of the road. I nearly crashed trying to get the car turned around fast enough. Beth had never had boiled peanuts and had only heard me talk about them. We pull up long side of the little stand that was equipped with 2 pressure cookers, a whole lot of raw peanuts, two toothless folks cooking them, the back seat of their 1980 Malibu that they were using as their bench, and a grocery cart full of “secret” spices that they were adding to the boiling water. I ordered up a bag and the fella reached down inside the large pot and scooped up a pitcher full of boiled peanuts and dumped them into a plastic zip lock bag and then stuck that into a paper sack – all for $3.95 plus $2.00 tax. I couldn’t wait to get a few shoved in my mouth. We took off down the road and Beth couldn’t give me another one fast enough. I thought I’d have lost the proficiency of opening them up, sucking out the juice, shelling them, chewing the peanuts, and spitting the shells out the window using no hands, but I still had “it”. Beth, on the other hand, had peanut juice in her eyes, the roof of the car, in her shoes, and all over her little face. Bless her heart, I’m not sure she ever got the chance to actually eat one. Besides working on her own peanuts, she was giving them to me and steering from the right side of the car cause I was so excited I had both arms flailing like that Pigeon would have if I’d have gotten a hold of it, the little turd! I was averaging about 11 peanuts a minute and had to finish this two gallon bag before we got to the airport. We did.

We made it on the airplane and here we sit getting getting ready to start our final descent into Philadelphia. We had a wonderful time and I learned something new today. Boiled Peanuts, combined with altitude, gives me terrible gas. Beth is sitting up front and won’t come near me right now. She said she’d meet me in the car so no one knows she’s with tootaloticus. I’m a victim I tell you. Ya’ll Be Particular

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons license.

Our Geocaches – They’re Hiding & Waiting For You Right Now!

Shane Watts — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 03:15:00 GMT

Geocaching? Geocaching is an outdoor game where you use a handheld GPS to locate “treasures” placed by others. It actually doesn’t require a GPS if you can read maps using latitudes and longitudes and navigate to that point with a compass or your good looks. Folks (all over the world) are out right now running around like crazy people either hiding these caches or looking for those that others have hidden. Sometimes you’ll find neat trinket's inside of the cache (container), and sometimes nothing more than a logbook where you’ll sign to show the secret world of geocachers that you’ve been there and you’ve found this heifer! Honestly, I didn’t know how many neat places existed so close to home until we started geocaching. While out hunting these treasures, we discovered hidden parks, gorgeous views, and places and things that I hadn’t known existed just right down the road. Not only that, but I didn’t even realize that I was getting exercise while out in the fresh outdoors hiking and sometimes biking enroute to these cool destinations. If you even only read about geocaching (click for the website), I think it’ll have an intriguing and mysterious pull to it that may get you out looking for atleast one or two. It’s really quite exciting to be honest. I bet you’ll be quite surprised, VERY surprised to find out how many hidden treasures are within a mile or two of your home. This Geocaching thing is world wide! Anyway, take a look at their website (it’s free) and create yourself an account (that’s free too) and start hunting for treasures (that’s free too). Our Geocache username is “OTISAIR” so please add us as a friend to your Geocache account. Now go and hang out and have fun with the rest of us crazy damn SLAP Indianer Jones want-a-be-like crazy-women-in-a-shoesale-and-hunt-a-like-hillbillies geocachers! Oh, Google Muggle (as related to Geocache) before you go though.

Located In Pennsylvania

Otis In Da Water, Sometimes	LINK HERE	Geocache ID: GC1JH3D

Hidden: 11/29/2008	Here are the coordinates :	N 40° 07.351 W 075° 26.873

Size: Micro	Difficulty:	Terrain:

Sometimes you won't even get wet, sometimes you may have to swim, sometimes you may have to climb a tree, sometimes you may be able to reach it. Parking is available, just not right at the site. You'll have parking options less than .5 miles away. Please don't forget to bring along something to write with as there is not enough room in the cache to store a pen or pencil.

Located In Pennsylvania

OtisAir Camo 1	LINK HERE	Geocache ID: GC18HXA

Hidden: 1/12/2008	Here are the coordinates :	N 40° 09.995 W 075° 21.780

Size: Small	Difficulty:	Terrain:

Down yonder camouflaged in the woods by the sideways tree!

Original Contents:

1 Duck (Tiny Thing)
1 Bug (Travelin' Kind)
1 Jet Airplane
1 Logbook
1 Geocache Fact Sheet
1 Pen

Located In Pennsylvania

Final Approach	LINK HERE	Geocache ID: GC189VK

Hidden: 1/1/2008	Here are the coordinates :	N 40° 13.967 W 075° 33.365

Size: Small	Difficulty:	Terrain:

PLEASE USE CAUTION. I WAS INFORMED THAT THERE IS STILL POISON IVY HERE. PLEASE BE CAREFUL! Happy (and itch-free) Hunting! Some briars perhaps in warmer seasons. Shouldn't be too difficult to locate. Ya'll be Particular

Original Contents of Clear Tupperware Container with blue lid:

1 Toy Jet (Labeled OTISAIR05)
2 Dice
1 Collapsible Cup
2 Pens
1 Glowstick
1 Logbook
1 Geocache explanation Sheet

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons license.

Honey! Got a Sec?

Shane Watts — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 23:59:00 GMT

	It took me nearly the entire month of November but I won. Beth had called me in “for a sec” a couple of weeks ago and wanted me to give her an idea of which bolt to use where. I had no idea what I was walking in to when I ran upstairs to see what was going on. I didn’t even know we had this “thing” that was all over the place, nor did I have an idea what it was. She didn’t have directions and had spread out all the parts and pieces but “we” somehow lost the directions and parts list so all we had to go by was, well… have a look. I wasn’t sure if it was a desk, a boat, and RV, or a chicken pen. I put it together 17 times, each producing a different piece of art. Can you guess what it is? I’ll post the results later and let you know it really is! Be Particular.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons license.